I Don’t Know Why I’m Here 

(From July 8, 2015)

I am in the main / family room (with big windows / doors to the backyard), sitting on the floor. Ali is outside. He walks past me (left to right), over to my bedroom (end of house), to knock on the window to let him in. I then wake, and hear a knocking on the window, louder than at other times. 

Kyle, and I, are in the Mexican neighbors house. Kyle is on the floor in front of the TV, unable to move / use his legs. The neighbors are gone, about to come back, having a party. They get back before we can leave. A visitor, for the party, sees me, and I tell him that I don’t know why I’m here. I am finally able to get out without them knowing I was there. I believe Kyle got out also. 

There is a fence between our yards ( our back is against their side, we actually have a brick wall). A car of theirs is in our back, driving through, and down, to theirs (part of their back goes down). I look where the car was, and see that they have made a swirl of steps / stepping stones leading to our back. 

I’m Not a Mother 

(From March 20, 2015)

We had something delivered from a thrift store. Along with it was a blue baby shoe. It had the company’s tag, along with a white tag with 13 on it. 

I wanted to go back to the store to find the other one. (Why didn’t I return the one I had?) When I got to the store, it was at the church. I wanted to start on the right side (chapel in top middle). 

I saw a couple jewelry boxes, and when I opened them, the “diamond” had come off, but still there. 

I found a tool where I could change the opening, at the top (like a monkey wrench). I showed it to John (D. I. ) because I knew he be interested, which he was. 

Someone showed me a pink baby shoe, with silky ribbon for the tie. I mentioned that wasn’t it, but a blue baby shoe that was like it. I didn’t mention that it had a regular tie. 

(Ali’s dream)

I was on a track, having to jump over obstacles. I was in front, Ali behind me. No one else was able to jump, and some black women were complaining about having to jump. 

(From March 21, 2015)

I’m in the cultural hall at church by the stage. There is a curtain semi around me. I am taking a shower, with my underwear on. The ceiling sprinklers come on. No one shows up for a while. A man finally shows up. I’m wondering what took so long for him to show, and the sprinklers came on when there’s no fire. 

I was looking at a black piece of paper, with white writing on it, on both sides with the middle empty. It was about the zodiac sign of Gemini. I heard Cher’s voice reading it. 

(From March 27, 2015)

I’m walking into Relief Society, going to sit by my mom. Excitedly, she said, “Happy birthday! Happy Mothers Day!” I then say, “But, I’m not a mother.” Suzanne (from church when I was a teenager.)

(From March 18, 2015)

Kyle, and I, are lying in (separate?) bed (house in my teenage years). He said something to me about checking the food under the desk. I look, and see a box of food with cockroaches crawling over it. There are some tabby cats under his bed (on the right), at the end, and they also have cockroaches crawling on them. 

I Have Been Training 

(From March 6, 2015)

I was watching tv somewhere, standing. The beginning of a show was starting, and Kyle was there, in it. I commented to someone, “Can you believe it’s been 3 years (since he passed)?” (He passed in ’08.)

(From March 9, 2015)

The old neighbor was going to move to a house on 21st street (which, in the dream, was around the same area) on the 28th. 

(From March 10, 2015)

Tastes like chocolate. Ketchup and lemon pudding (side by side, not mixed together). Only I took a taste. I only tasted the ketchup, so I said so, and that it tastes good. 

Chumbawamba. I say that I have their song on tape. 

(Ali’s dream)

We are in a race. I am in the lead, passing the others at the beginning, speeding so fast that my feet barely touch the ground. Ali is behind me. My hair is in a ponytail. I am wearing a red shirt, blue shorts, and fancy / colorful shoes. 

After we finish, we are barely breathing / breathing normal. After the others finish, they ask how I / we did it. I tell them that I have been training. I also mention food. 

Bluff it anyway 

(From Jan. 2015 Ali’s dream)

(I had told him about Aurora Borealis, which he had never heard of before, the night before)

He is in water, attempting to grab some color that is there, but is not able to. There is a bridge, and the color floats over to it, and gets stuck. I keep telling him to grab it. I am finally able to. He has family there as well. 

(From March 2, 2015)

Kyle was sitting on the ground with his legs out, not being able to walk because his spleen burst and he was waiting for surgery. I tripped over his legs. 

Grandma takes her cat (didn’t have one) for a walk, wearing a harness. The cat has to be dragged a little. 

I’m in grandma’s house. She doesn’t know I’m there. 

Christmas is in 12 days. (Nothing happened.)

(From March 4, 2015)

An older lady, named Vimian, is in the hospital. It was possible that she wouldn’t make it. 

(From March 5, 2015)

I was very happy, enjoying life. I was thinking about the conversation I had with Ali the night before about people being intimidated by others who think highly of themselves, even only if they think they’re cute. I didn’t care if people were intimidated by me (I never have). 

Zac, and I, were in water. Part of it was dark. He was young, no more than 5 / 6. We were in the dark side, but he didn’t like it and wanted to be on the clear side, so we moved. 

We had a quiz about SpongeBob with us, but neither of us knew the answers because we hadn’t seen it. We were / I was going to bluff it anyway. 

I Keep Going 

(From Jan. 17, 2015)

I was sleeping in bed. My mom comes next to me, and tells me that it’s time to go to bed. I don’t open my eyes. I want to continue sleeping. She turns off the small fan I have beside me. 

She then wants to show me a newspaper with an article about Oprah, who had brought an older (70’s?) black lady on her show (when she had it), who had taken care of three (at different times) returned vets. Oprah had brought one of them to the show as a surprise. When he started walking out, on the left, audience to his right, she ran over to him to give him a hug. (I was on set, watching.)

Deion Sanders was there, lying on his left side, propped on his elbow, facing facing forward, and to his right. The audience was to his left. He was wearing a tan /creme suit. The audience was chuckling at something, then he said, “No, serious, I’m / It’s not very pretty”, alluding that he had also gone to war, and come back disfigured. I couldn’t see anything different about him. 

(From Jan. 18, 2015)

Kyle was in water, some kind of pool?, and wanted to see if he could touch the bottom. It was a bit dark, but could still see. He wasn’t able to get to the bottom because of his wound on his stomach still healing. I was also in / under the water, and wanted to say something to him, thinking I might be able, as he was coming back up, but I wasn’t able to. 

While still dreaming, I was describing / attempting this dream to someone. 

The family went to visit Judy, who was in the hospital. She was in the right corner room. I didn’t want to go inside, since she isn’t connecting with me at the moment. I turned around, and saw Amy, facing Judy, there, as a patient. I didn’t realize she would be there, so I sat out there, with her, on a couch that was between her and the wall. She was hoping to be able to get out later that day. There were other beds around, with people in them, kinda like the e. r. 

She was watching a movie that had Emma Thompson (?). It was obvious, to me, that this was a recent movie, and not made when she was younger, as she had horizontal lines across her face, not too deep, but enough to notice. 

Emma had something hit her left side of the head, showing a red ribbon falling down the front. She said she was ok, then blood started coming out. Another scene, after time had passed, the blood had suddenly stopped previously, but then started back up again, getting all over the walls / place, which scared her. I told Amy I wasn’t going to watch. 

There was a path / road in between fences (?). I was driving the small white Toyota pickup I used to have (didn’t see), and stopped behind a semi without the trailer. I got out to ask the driver, who was standing outside, if I could make it, because there was a short distance that’s burning from the sun (temperature). He told me that, yes, I could, but that I (end up) keep going (not telling me, but acknowledging that that’s what I (usually) do). I decided to add water anyway so that the engine wouldn’t overheat. I then looked up, and saw the path / road going up a mountain to a castle at the top (like in movies). 

I was talking with someone, at my parents house, with Amy, mom (?), and I think others. We hear my dad punishing Steve, hitting, in another room. I firmly tell my mom to go stop him. We all go there, and I tell my dad, firmly and adamantly, to leave the house. I wasn’t sure I was going to have breath to speak, but I did, and I was surprised. 

Without a border

(From Dec. 23, 2014)

There was a steep concrete ditch without a border to keep anything from falling in. Ali, and I, were walking by it, where there were pebbles all over the ground. He was talking to a couple other women, enjoying being with them, more than me. I lied down, waiting for him to pay attention to me. Eventually he came over.

Kyle, and I, were going to get married, as also another couple. We had to be shipped off to a different state to do so. I don’t remember where the other couple went, but we were to go to Oregon, which was at the bottom of the states, to the left of Texas.

Some of my cousins came down for it. While waiting to be shipped off, I was participating in the different activities taking place. I was in a pool, and Joy showed me a hole on the top side where air / steam / water was coming out, and she told me that it was warm.

(Ali’s dream)

We were at Amy’s, and I told him to come down to mom and dad’s area so that I could give him a bj. He didn’t want to at first because of the family being there. After he finally did come down, my mom called out to me.

(From Dec. 30, 2014 Ali’s dream)

There were two police impersonators here who wanted to handcuff Ali. We were telling them that they can’t do this. Ali asked where their badges were. I said something about having them on video. They left, and we were going to report them. I said that I needed to get one of my shoes.

Russian

(From Dec. 26, 2014)

Russian

(From Dec. 28, 2014)

(Night before I asked what do I do to support myself)

There was a bumpy hill in the backyard, the house being at the top. There was a tabby cat, on the left, lying on its back with the head upside down, and then turned to look at me.

Amy was there, and I told her that she should see Ali with the tiger (with black stripes).

There was an industrial looking fan, with a space between the blades, and edges. I was putting / dropping down gold coins through, and one got stuck.

Ali, and I, got married, then had sex, and it was ok because we were already married. Later (how much?), I was either thinking of getting a divorce, or we were going to get divorced.

On the hill, there was a single colored fox, rusty?, that I petted a couple of times, then it laid on its stomach, and worm size sausage looking links of poop came out.

I was topless, and my body was green. My nipples were half way down, and when I covered them, my body looked like a man.

(From Dec. 31, 2014)

Someone was reminding / telling Richard Branson , while standing on a balcony, how / that he likes/d Miami.

Kyle was lying next to me on the bed, naked. I was playing with him.

Reggie Dawson (don’t know anyone with that name)

Briana

Travis. I thought I was supposed to see him on the 18th.

A tall thin black man wanted to steal my trench coat. As he was leaving, in the dark, talking to us, I was looking at his dark blue / black knitted sweater he was wearing, making sure it wasn’t my coat.

Killed

(From Nov. 19, 2014)

Ali, and I, were going to go somewhere, but he wanted to stop at a corner house in the neighborhood where loud music is played (isn’t one). I don’t know how, but they killed him. When he got to the hospital, a guy who used to be his student, was there, and because of the respect this guy had for Ali, he was telling, straightaway, the others what to do / get.

I was feeling down because of this, and was somewhere where I saw Kyle, and he was going to get married to someone else. I was wondering why he wasn’t / wouldn’t get married to me. If only he was getting married to me.

Dale Bryson (don’t know anyone by this name)

(Ali’s dream)

The Mexican neighbor, and the guy who has been working here, broke into the house. We didn’t see them. They broke through the glass sliding doors, with shattered pieces everywhere. I saw a flashlight that was still on, and knew it was them who did this. Ali got on the phone to the police.

(From Dec. 4, 2014)

The Strangest Secret had a section about black history, which in turn had a section titled, “Who Holds Your Money, Part 1”.

The Mother

I am standing between benches, turned toward the back, in the chapel of the church, on the right side, speaking with someone. I am wearing an empire waist dress, blue / sea green(?) coloring, maybe some tiny flowers(?). My hair is dark brown / black, but looks natural. I have added some pounds (10-15/20).

A tall, big man walks in at the back. He sees me, and walks to the left toward a lady, to ask about me. Jovially / happily, she says, “Oh, the Mother”, and brings him to me, which by now I’m near the front on the left side, and introduces him to me. He reminds me of Kyle, intriguing me. I tell him, yes, I am a mother, thinking about my two children, thus the weight. Later on, though, I realize / tell myself that I don’t have any children.

This man has a Polish last name, with the weird spelling. He is funny, having previously been on SNL. His singing is beautiful, to almost being of an operatic quality, seeing him sitting where the choir sits, in the top row.

At one point, I am walking through a hallway, in the church, with him, and others, behind me. I’m having a bit of a difficult time walking, but not struggling, with a smile on my face when I look back.

There are some cards with names inside. Don’t know what for. I see mine, and the big guys together, mine having his last name. A man says it’s because he always sees us together.

I’m sitting outside, by a round table with an umbrella(?), watching two dark black bald men, who are about 20 yards away, get situated. I’m wondering what the big guy would say / do if he saw me looking, but also thinking it wouldn’t bother him too much.

I had put a sleeping bag outside, in the back, but forgot about it. Next thing I know, it’s raining, and Steve, as a young boy (11?), is in it. A church leader, who isn’t physically there, but can see him, asked how he is doing. Steve responded that he is fine, except for the fact that he can’t feel his fingers / hands, and toes / feet. He then covers himself. There is a small grave next to him, with something buried.

There is a line of Asian men, wearing black suits, holding red umbrellas, on the side of a mountain. I only see the faces of the first couple of them, as I see them from above. I don’t know where they came from, where they are going, or how many there are, as I assume that they go around the corner.

(From Oct. 26, 2014)

A tall, big man, who likes me, and wants to get involved, picked me up so that my back was against his left arm, and my legs over his right.

I’m worried about him being able to hold my weight, but then concluded that he could because of his stature.

(From Oct. 25, 2014)

I’m outside, taking a test. My teacher is Bishop Powers. He is enjoying the day, and is enjoying it so much, that he becomes overheated, and needs to lie down on a table. I mention to him, “I thought you had learned from last time”, or something to that effect.

While taking the test, we were able to freely converse with each other. I was one of the last two to finish. The test papers were more like a thin book stapled(?) together, and the pages were of varying shapes, sizes, and maybe colors. The questions themselves also weren’t thought out well. One of the last ones wanted me to put in order several animals, stacked upon each other, which included a hummingbird, turtle, and a cat. The longer I looked at this, more animals seemed to show up.

A guy appeared, as I was finishing, who sat as close to me as he could, on the right side, in an affectionate way. He looked a combination of Eddie Vedder, and a 7th grade t.a. We had taken a previous class together, and knew each other from that, but didn’t do anything outside of that class.

He told me he was from Provo, Utah, and he was what is known / called “Nu Essence”. He then took out, from his right pants pocket, what looked like a small jewelry box, and then got on the ground next to me, facing me. He said he was what was called “Level(?)”, which I might have heard of / about. I told him no, I hadn’t. He then started to explain. (I woke as he was doing so.)

As he was on the ground, I assumed that he was going to ask me to marry him. I was thinking I would tell him that we hardly know each other, but I was considering saying yes. I was also going to tell him that I would give him an answer the next day, as I needed to discuss this with Ali.

(From Oct. 24, 2014)

Ali was gone for several days, for something, and my dad was here with me. Shortly after going to bed, the alarm went off. I went to check it out, and by the time I got to it, it was turned off, and a guy from church in Moreno Valley was there. He came because some of the floor, in the kitchen(?), needed to be removed and replaced. I saw water underneath the house. He then left, but I told him the floor needed to be fixed, and he said it would be. Another guy, also from church in Moreno Valley, showed up to fix it.

The alarm was in a closet, and I saw writing, in black ink, written by a lady. Ali had smudged some of it, maybe so I couldn’t read it?

We had a large round, globe sized, chandelier, and two men were fixing the lights / lighting.

I was reading, in a newspaper(?), “The life you are to have will be”, or something along those lines.

Dad asked about death, if whether now, or at the end life, or both. I said both.

(From Oct. 23, 2014)

A female is parked in a white car, backed up. Not in a lot, but more like under an empty overpass. I don’t see her. She is frantic, on the phone to 911. She is telling the operator that a man is coming after her. The operator knows about this man.

The man, in a car, backs up to her car, speeding, crunching hers, then takes off.

I’m standing on the passenger side, by the back, a ways back. I see her falling out in two, but she is not a body, but more like two burnt circles. I think someone comes with something to cover her.

Black family, mostly women in their 50’s / 60’s, leave church early, as one of them is in a wheelchair, and they don’t want the other people to get in the way.

David Bowie is there, dressed warmly in a dark sweater. I ask him if Iman is ok with him being Mormon. He acknowledges yes.

We (including?) are at Oprah’s house, looking at her collectibles collection. She has some life-sized statues from different movies. She also has some things of Einstein.

I am riding in a rail train, with no top, with somebody else, inside this room. Looking down, I mention that the rail isn’t there, but then I see it.

I’m in Alan Alda’s bedroom, standing at the end, to the left (if on the bed). I think there might also be an orangey cat.

Alan is on the right side of the bed. He has on those square glasses with the big black frames. He is wearing striped pajamas, but I see that they are see through, and see what looks like white shorts underneath.

His wife is next to him, sitting up, with shorts on. She is skinny, so much so, that I can see a bone sticking out of her left leg, up by the hips. She has really short hair, and I wonder if she is gay. There are several different colored striped pajamas on the end of the bed between them.

Alan puts his arm over her stomach / chest area, bringing her down, wanting to get frisky with her. She mentions that I am there. I know they do other things, read, when I’m not there.

(Didn’t realize I had so much to write.)

Nothing Is There

(Night before, I asked if we come from different planets, before birth.)

The bathroom is in the hallway, and I see the door open. I walk over to use it. I see that Judy is on the toilet, straight in front of me. She doesn’t see me. I think it odd / strange that she would have / leave the door open.

After a bit, I then see two guys messing around in the shower (nude?). The tub is filled with water, the floor is flooded, all of the hall carpet is soaked.

There are other 20-somethings in the other room. They are all here to party with Judy. One girl, slouching back against the couch, has her breasts covered, but the rest of her is naked. I tell them all to leave, and for the girl to cover herself / put something on.

I then see them outside the window, lowering themselves, using a mountain climbers rope / equipment.

I see them again in another part of the house(?), where there are chairs, and a stage. There are a handful of people in the chairs, watching these people up on the stage, who are lined up, front to back, singing.

Still irritated by them, I walk to the right side side of the stage where the steps are. As I walk up, I am singing for them to leave / go away.

I am standing on a balcony, have a baby bottle (newborn?), filled with milk, and am dripping it on their heads. There is so much milk, that the ground / floor is covered with it. I see to my left, down below, a small boy / small guy, who has slipped and fallen, not moving. The others are walking around him.

I am then sitting on some steps. The cops have been called because of me. I think that they’ve got me now, and will have the connection / link between me and Ali.

They are not dressed in uniform. They are in a circle, talking with some other guys, discussing what to do.

Kyle has an open wound on the inside of his left leg, going from ankle, to halfway up. There is gauze covering it, but is coming off. He has had this wound for a while, waiting for it to close and heal.

He is standing in the kitchen, wanting to cook some food. He had gone where he thought the cupboards were, but nothing was there, only an old yellow wall.

(From Sept. 28, 2014)

(It is evening throughout these dreams, and all at the same place, basically. There were a bunch of small ones, so I picked the most memorable ones.)

I am somewhere with Amy. A church? I never see her, but know she is there. I went out to the parking lot when it was time to leave. She had already gone. I then noticed the parking lot is nearly empty, and I don’t see my car. I start to get scared, and want to start crying. It seems someone came, and walked me to another area, comforting me.

I am outside watching fireworks. There are buildings to my left, and right. I never look at them. In between them is a grassy area. The fireworks are by the building to my right. They were eye level, not up in the sky.

When I first looked at them, they were static / suspended, and I wished I could have taken a picture. They then started moving, after a second, or two. One of the huge ones turned into a man’s face. For some reason, I winked at it. He winked back.

I am in church, in the chapel, walking from front to back, looking for a place to sit. There weren’t benches, but individual seats, along with couches / sofas. I did see one white loveseat, with the curvy back, that was empty, but it was up close to the seats in front of it, so there was no leg room. I finally settled on a couch / chaise in the back, lying down, but with head up. Everyone was there to listen, and learn, but were doing their own thing(s).

On the couch to my left (the front of the room was to my right) was a man, wearing nice black clothes, writing letters to be sent to Paris (I saw Paris on an envelope). His writing was the distinguished 18th century type. I wondered if he was French.

As if reading my mind, he showed me his black attaché(?), speaking with a deep / thick French accent, to where I could only understand him now and then.

His attaché had an embossed picture on it of a nature scene, close up, as if you were there. This man explained that the artist had incorporated his name at the bottom, so people would know who the artist is / was.

After he speaks to me, I see a dog lying on me, resting. I am thinking it might have been a wolf. It is fluffy, and I am petting / stroking it. I ask it if it needs to go pee, since it had been resting there for a while. With slow, small movements, he shook his head no.

A young black girl, sitting in a chair, by a coffee table, at home, with her single mom, and younger brother. Her mom, with lots of long tiny braids, pinned up, is holding the brother, cleaning the table. The girl tells her mom that she’s funny.