We Don’t Have

(From June 1, 2015)

I was at the top of a stadium, where the offices are, in a blonde performer guy’s room / office, which wasn’t small. There were some church members, from my teenage years, who were there as well. Rillene(sp?) said that they come every year. I’m doing / cleaning some dishes, because I want to. The performer is standing next to me, on my left, and asks what I’m going to do with my life. I tell him, “Nothing “, then think to myself, “because Ali (who is sitting in a chair up against a wall behind us) takes care of me “, though I didn’t finish the sentence. I was wearing a skirt, and he had his hand on my right butt cheek. I sheepishly pushed it down because of Ali. He was looking down at something, so I don’t know if he saw. 

(From June 2, 2015)

The neighborhood cats all were coming / came over, on the left side of the house. The “momma” grey cat even came back (she went missing a day or two prior). She had with her our young b&w kitten (black with white face). As I was waking up, I realized that we don’t have a b&w kitten. 

(From June 3, 2015)

Woke up with song “Young Manhood” by (The) Wild Swans 

(From June 14, 2015)

I have small breasts, and even though I’m wearing a shirt / covered up, I squeeze them, expecting something to come out, but nothing does. 

(Ali’s dream)

We are hiking up colored / painted steps (purple, etc.). There is a decorated wall up at the top. I do the Rocky stance, arms up, and people are taking pictures. I was about to leave when one guy says for me to wait because he hasn’t gotten a picture yet. I wait for him, doing the stance again so he can get a picture. Others also came around again to get one also.  

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God, Help Me

(From May 5, 2015)

I saw a face, without an outline, representing others, with rosy / red cheeks. Actually, I think that’s all I saw, but knew it was a face. The cheeks were that color because they had (what is called) B. D. These people were to have a shot, made from / by Monsanto, to cure it. I did something which caused the majority of the people to decline the shot. The few who did have / get it, died. 

(From May 6, 2015)

I was standing in a room, with other people, for an event (?). I’m standing by the back wall, in the middle (?). A flower delivery man has walked in carrying a big bouquet of white roses. He is walking towards me, then hands them to me. Someone had ordered for them to be delivered to me. They have really long stems, because my hair is long. There is a white tag at the bottom, with my name(?) in red. 

I am visiting another church with my family. We are signing our names on the attendance. I give it back to the teacher, passing Ali (on my right, front, sideways), because he isn’t a member. 

(From May 18, 2015)

A spirit named T(h)eresa was squeezing my middle section so much that my vision (not wearing glasses) became so blurry that I had to close my eyes. I said 3 times, “God, help me “, loud, before she let go. 

A cat (head on the right side) was under the stage, at church (that’s where the extra chairs are kept), that you couldn’t see until you looked. She was about to give birth. There were two hot dogs that had rolled down a tiny slope (it was now outside) so that she wasn’t able to reach them. They were under a green(ery) that was growing there. 

Stability of the Building

(From March 11, 2015)

I am lying next to a man, naked, on a bed. I am on the right side. He slowly starts to roll over to get on top of me. I say no, and immediately get up and dressed. 

I am holding someone’s baby, and need to give it a bath. 

There is a pool of water that is cleaning itself. 

I am in a building, not sure what floor, maybe top?, and I’m thinking it wasn’t made all too well. I’m not sure how long it’ll stand, even though the others have no problem walking around. 

There is a guy who has a cough, like a lingering cough. He wants to go to get it checked out. He has to wait, but he eventually does. I’m thinking that when he goes, he could mention the stability of the building. I don’t say it. 

Deborah (pronounce each syllable, ex coworker) is there. 

I mention to someone that if my hairs ( on my arm) were gone, my arm would look like a white snake. 

(From March 19, 2015)

I’m driving a car, speeding down a hill, brakes not working. I don’t hit anyone, or get in an accident, but others on the road do. 

The road finally evens w, but I’m still speeding. At one point, I can’t see what’s ahead, as if I was continually going around a bend. 

There’s a field that I’m finally able to go to to slow down. 

I Have Been Training

(From March 6, 2015)

I was watching tv somewhere, standing. The beginning of a show was starting, and Kyle was there, in it. I commented to someone, “Can you believe it’s been 3 years (since he passed)?” (He passed in ’08.)

(From March 9, 2015)

The old neighbor was going to move to a house on 21st street (which, in the dream, was around the same area) on the 28th. 

(From March 10, 2015)

Tastes like chocolate. Ketchup and lemon pudding (side by side, not mixed together). Only I took a taste. I only tasted the ketchup, so I said so, and that it tastes good. 

Chumbawamba. I say that I have their song on tape. 

(Ali’s dream)

We are in a race. I am in the lead, passing the others at the beginning, speeding so fast that my feet barely touch the ground. Ali is behind me. My hair is in a ponytail. I am wearing a red shirt, blue shorts, and fancy / colorful shoes. 

After we finish, we are barely breathing / breathing normal. After the others finish, they ask how I / we did it. I tell them that I have been training. I also mention food. 

Looking through her eyes

(From Jan. 26, 2015)

Ali, to my left, was walking me through a rectangular shaped building. The floor was white tile with black grout. There were cafe tables along both sides, by the walls. The walls may have had greenery, not sure since I didn’t pay attention to them. Sitting at the tables were Arab men, watching us walk through. I didn’t know it was only for them, so I put my hands up in the air, as if to say, “c’est la vie”. 

(From Jan. 27, 2015)

Judy was working at a radio station, in the offices, which was rectangular shaped, horizontally. The door was in / near the bottom right corner. Her desk was facing another, up against it, on the left side of the rectangle. Her hair was (flat?) frosted over dark, and was about shoulder length. I was thinking how short she was, and that I never realized that when she wore her hair short, bleached, and fluffy (?), she looked taller. She was wearing dark jeans. 

She and a female coworker, also short, were standing over by the desks. This lady looked at the lady standing in the dark doorway, who had no expression. The lady they saw used to work with them. The first lady waved at the other, telling her to come in, but she didn’t move. I was the one looking through her eyes. 

Ali was sitting on a bag that had a lion inside. The lion was coming out. I asked the Angels, anyone to help because I was scared it was going to bite Ali. It didn’t. 

(From Jan. 29, 2015)

I’m on a stationary city bus, looking outside, and wondering what Carol (ex-coworker from D. I.), and others, are standing around for. Eventually I see another bus come, and they get in. 

It’s foggy outside, and the traffic is going usual speed. I’m worried that the driver is going too fast, for fear of not being able to see what’s ahead. 

(Ali’s dream)

A woman comes and steals my 10 pound weights, wanting to use them for exercising. She is dressed in sweats. As she walks away, with hands in the air, on the street, I run up to her, and violently grab the weights out of her hands. She is confused, and scared. I tell her, adamantly, that I’m going to wait right here until she understands that these are my things. There are people, of all ages, in the street watching. 

I Had To Climb

(From Feb. 20, 2015)

I had to climb the outside of the house to the top to get inside to get to my room, which was at the bottom / basement. I wanted to ask my dad why I had to do this, instead of just going through the door at the bottom. 

Judy mentioned to my dad that there’s water underneath the house, making the possibility of me having to move into another room. I saw a hose with water coming out, from the neighbors (?). 

I asked my dad if the water damage, if any were going to be looked at before I moved, and he said yes. 

(From Feb. 21, 2015)

A children’s store painted pink inside. There is, or is going to be, a party there. 

A family, living in a wood / log home, is outside on their lawn. They are playing football, I think, but with a large water slide. No one gets hurt. I see the blonde mother smiling, and having fun (don’t remember who she is). 

One of the girls is wearing a tube top dress. I notice that it’s down a bit, and that she doesn’t have much there. She then pulls it up. 

There are small snakes, and lizards / iguanas on the side of their home. Someone takes one off, but not the others. I point this out, but to no avail. 

They have a fenced side yard. Donald Trump has come to speak with / to a small gathering. The pilot, of Donald’s plane, is sitting on his left. No one has showed up yet. Bart(?) reminds me that he was going to introduce me to him. I’m wearing a pink garden / wide brim hat. I’m not looking down, but not looking straight. Donald tells me to keep my head up. Bart mentions the pilot’s name, Leland. Donald is taken aback for a second, and says that he’s never heard the pilot’s name before. 

Wide busy street going up / down, N / S (for reference, don’t know if actually was). Side streets had to wait for their turn / move. Oprah is driving up / north. She turns left, turning into the oncoming traffic side. There are a couple of cars in line, on the left side of the street, waiting for the light to change. She moves to the correct lane just as / before more oncoming traffic appears. 

I Didn’t Want To See

(From Feb. 15, 2015 Ali’s dream)

Someone, renting from us, who was burning incense. I told them to leave, and told Ali, “I knew we shouldn’t have rented to them.”

(From Feb. 16, 2015)

I had bleeding legs from shaving to hard. 

I was inside a building, with separate rooms, for bands to come and give small concerts. The first room I was in was for KISS. They weren’t out / on stage yet, but everything was set up for them, and there were 4 microphones next to each other. Someone was speaking over the speakers talking about how the group came together. 

I then went into a room with Fall Out Boy. The singer was yelling the lyrics, and was almost laying down, propped up on something with his left arm, facing up. There were 20-somethings there, sitting as if in a living room, comfortable. 

It was known that sex happened among the audience. I didn’t see any happening, but left because I didn’t want to see. I went back to the room with KISS. 

(From Feb. 19, 2015)

Women were coming out of a building, not sure if it was a church, but they were dressed as such. I asked Amy, “Is that it?”, thinking there was more. 

As I was walking along one of the sidewalks, there was a brown pit bull / boxer. Some may have thought he looked scary, but he wasn’t to me. I then saw several black dogs on the other side of him. They were all happy, and doing dog stuff. I pointed out the brown one to Amy. There was also a lady with long brown hair. A Native American?

Amy was then going to drive us home. She was not on the road though, but on top of a craggy hill. She was waiting for a man to move out of a certain place / area so that she could go that way. 

He moved after us waiting several seconds. As we started to descend, I think I asked if she was sure about this, and if she knew what she was doing. We were always pointed down. The last I saw, after going over / past a ledge, the side of the hill went further in, which I think caused the car to start falling, back end starting / coming up and over. 

Feel the Empty Space

(Night before I asked why I was called “The Mother”)

A guy was cozying up with me, talking with me. I realized that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, but didn’t worry too much about it since he didn’t seem to notice / be affected by it.

Someone, Ali ?, mentioned that I hadn’t brushed my teeth, so I told him that I had been chewing (minty) gum.

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was looking behind it, where there was some of my gums (normal, supposed to be there), to figure out why it would come off / out. I saw a tiny white spot at the top left corner, and thought that might be the reason.

I attempted to put it back, like a nail (not pushing it up in the gums), but it wouldn’t stay. I then let it go, and figured that Ali will have to live with me like this.

I put my lip down, and it felt weird to feel the empty space.

A young teenage girl, with shoulder (blade) length brown hair, had a boyfriend, came from a wealthy family, and was enjoying life.

One day she found out that she had a certain type of skin cancer. A couple of days later, she was looking at her face in the mirror, with boyfriend behind her, and mentioned that she saw a sign of it showing up on her face.

She lived with a lot of ladies, relatives?, and had a lot of dogs (not seen, but knew).

There was a festival in town, and she went to enjoy it while she could. Someone asked where her boyfriend was.

She “skated” down a cement curved slope. The scene continued to the left, showing several different groups of people showcasing their own entertainment / talents, like a parade, but they were stationary.

I saw a group of people singing the Star Spangled Banner song in a dunked up version / way. Next to them were ladies doing a dance routine with those things they throw up in the air.

This girl had become a bit weaker, but still happy. She had just sold a shirt, or clothes, and was holding a wad of cash in her hands, looking at it. She had some tears, but was smiling, because of what she had planned to do with it for her family. She was wearing black and white striped clothes, with varying widths.

(From Nov. 17, 2014)

A lady loved getting tore up / mangled by dogs, and would get paid for it. She didn’t have any ambulances around, but had two people who were there to help clean and bandage her wounds.

There were black baby kittens on a small slope of a hill, but they were balls, like when fish lay eggs. Someone was moving them, attempting to scoop them up, but not using the scoops nearby, so they were rolling down, about to drop to their deaths.

I was at a nice, well built, non denominational church, just to see what it was like. There was a man sitting a couple of chairs away from me on my right. He was “teaching”, using a tablet(?). One part, he was talking about politicians, showing faces. I saw Mitt Romney. This man said that Mormon’s don’t matter. He went on to something else, saying again about the Mormon’s. I stopped him, and asked if Mormon’s don’t matter because they are irrelevant to his discussion, or because he doesn’t like them. He started answering by not answering, as he backed his chair away.

A little blonde girl (2 / 3) was then sitting on my lap. Though there were no signs, people knew that she was abused. She was still happy though. She wore a dark dress, with tiny white spots?, and I was rubbing her legs. She wasn’t bothered by that. I then saw hair sticking out of her mouth, and went to take it out. As I went for it, I noticed that the end of her tongue was pierced, and this hair was tied through the hole. She put her tongue back inside, so I wasn’t able to get to it.

(From Nov. 16, 2014)

I was in a class, not for schooling, but like a community one, for fun. One day a light skin Arab man offered to give me, and another woman, a ride home. He dropped her off, then continued on. I was going to tell him that I live in Riverside when he brought out some masking tape (the brown / tan one). I knew what his intentions were, so I got out of there.

I was running in the city, like in New York with the alleys between the businesses, and couldn’t find a place to go. I finally said, out loud, “God, show me a way out”, or something like that. I then saw that I could go down a certain alley.

I went down, and through a door. It was a small rectangular room, like at church for nursing mothers, but there was only a long rectangular mirror on the left, with a counter below it. I debated getting under, but figured he would see me, so I went next to the door so that I would be behind it when he opened it.

After he opened it, and didn’t see me, I heard some ladies voices coming our way, and he closed the door without looking behind.

What Is, Is

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was initially worried about someone (Ali?) seeing me this way, assuming this was the start of losing my teeth from getting older, but soon shrugged it off, thinking, what is, is.

(From Nov. 14, 2014 Ali’s dream)

He opened the door, to go out to do something. I told him to close it, because people steal. I kept after him to be more aware of security. He said he was only going to be a couple of minutes.

When he got back, most of his things were gone. I kept reminding him of what I had told him.

We walked for about a mile when we found his things in a corner bush. We took it all back home, then I told him to bring his guitar to Universal Studios with us.

We had been there for a while, half a day(?), when he wanted to go back home. I wanted to stay, and was telling him that I could drive in the dark.

(From Nov. 13, 2014)

A man was standing on a platform / plank, overseeing a big pond / small lake, that was a bit milky looking. He was pointing to it, and telling others, with him, that this is where the power comes from (for the city / town).

(From Nov. 12, 2014)

I went to Wal-Mart to look for something (don’t remember what), but they didn’t have it. There was a tall black man there with two young sons / boys. Wal-Mart was built so that each department had its own section, like Victoria’s Secret, and the sections were diagonal, going from left to right.

(From Nov. 11, 2014)

I had white, edible worms, mixed with mud / dirt, stuck to my right hand / palm, holding them for Briana. After a while, I couldn’t handle them on me anymore, so I scraped them off, telling her that I did

I was walking with a young Steve (9 / 10?). We crossed a street as a red luxury sports car was waiting to turn right (his). After we crossed, I realized that he was taking us back to our old home we lived in during the 80’s. I told him that mom didn’t live there anymore. He got upset as I turned him around, and I may even have had to pick him up so we could go in a different direction.

(From Nov. 10, 2014)

Watching the Simpsons with a child(?), and realizing that it’s a rerun of the last episode, so I mention it.

I’m about to cut my hair, raising the middle part above my head, but decided against it because it would have been to short for Ali. Seems I may have had a thick pink line going across my hair, about the area above my ears.

Someone is showing us the positions of everyone from the recently / previously ended war, using planes and such.

Ali asks if he should buy the “peacock” house (because the people who lived there had one). Thinking that I would, I told him that it was up to him.

(From Nov. 9, 2014)

I’m at a bus station. Amy, and Micalanne, are there also. Mic came separately. I think Amy and I came together. We’re going to our parents house, at least I think Mic is going also. I didn’t ask.

Everyone has to lay out their things first, upon arrival. I did, and after I pack it all back up, wish I hadn’t, as I keep looking over everything still out, making sure I got all my stuff back.

I don’t buy a ticket, deciding to wait for the bus to arrive. It does, and people get on, including Amy. Before going to buy the ticket, I ask a man (driver / worker) if there’s a seat left / any room. He says out loud, for everyone to hear, that it’s full (but uses a different word). Upon hearing this, I become worried that I don’t / won’t have money for a ticket, but then remembered that mom had given me $60.

I’m wondering when the next bus leaves, and so ask Mic when she’s going. She says her bus doesn’t get there until 2 a.m. I incredulously repeat the time.

(From Nov. 8, 2014)

I was at a store, and returned the ends of a loaf of bread, in the bag, for a refund. I was surprised that they gave me the full amount, and not just the amount for the ends.

Ali is outside, sitting on something, about waist-high. He is 6’4″, and built. Not too much, but enough to notice.

Briana was at a friend’s house for Christmas, with her daughters, but not husband. The friends had two trees in the same room, near each other, at an angle. This room was huge. As I was watching the girls have fun, I was thinking that at least they had room to move.

Briana was attempting to take pictures of the trees, with her daughters in the, but there was a ray / glare of sun shining through in front of the trees, so she couldn’t get a good picture.

There was a man on the phone, wanting to talk to the youngest daughter, people saying that it’s her dad, but she wouldn’t talk. The man on the phone is a tall man, with some extra weight. Her dad isn’t so tall, and is thin (last I knew).

Zombies

I was in a small pool (murky water?) with two other girls. A soak went below the surface. I wanted to get it before it did so, but wasn’t able to.

One of the girls undid the tie to my bathing suit /bikini (don’t know which it was), then brought the top down enough to show my breasts. I was worried that she would see my little bit of (blonde) chest hair. She didn’t say anything, and didn’t act as if something was out of the ordinary.

She told me to slap my breasts against the water. I told her that I would not.

I am somewhere where some 20-something’s were talking about bestiality. One guy mentioned an elephant. I was going to speak up against this behavior, but didn’t, possibly because I didn’t know them.

(From Nov. 3, 2014)

As I’m walking in front of the neighbor’s house (to our left), towards Ali’s house, I notice that the house is empty. I think to myself, “Ah, that’s why they haven’t been around.” As I’m back inside the house, I see about 4 ladies from church in the kitchen (side of the house), cleaning the last handful of stuff that’s left.

(From Nov. 2, 2014)

There were zombies in a city. People kept going about their lives / duties, but were on guard. The children still had to go to school. The residents were allowed to kill the zombies when coming across them.

I’m leading an exercise class at a gym. We have on our backs what looks like a weighted jet pack, but without the jets, and extra stuff. The cords /straps were black elastic (?). My pack was pink. I still had some weight, but it wasn’t obvious.

(From Nov. 1, 2014)

There was a rainstorm, then cleared up.

(From Oct. 31, 2014)

Ali came home from work, hot from the weather. It was 87(?) degrees outside. I knew that there was going to be another warm / hot day, but then would cool down.

(From Oct. 30, 2014)

There are round bundles of hay, out in a field. They are lined up, front to back, being varying sizes, large to small. About halfway, they curved to the left. They are frozen over.

I am standing a little ways away, and see a horse sliding down, head to the right, eyes closed, not moving. I was worried it would get hurt.

I was standing at the end as it reached the end. It finally fell to the ground, and was okay.

(From Oct. 29, 2014)

I’m walking in the middle of a quad(?) at a college. I’m carrying a lunch(?) box in my right hand. It is shaped so that the handle is at the left end. It is striped with the rasta colors. I’m thinking that Travis(?) will be impressed when he sees it.