(From Nov. 19, 2014)

Ali, and I, were going to go somewhere, but he wanted to stop at a corner house in the neighborhood where loud music is played (isn’t one). I don’t know how, but they killed him. When he got to the hospital, a guy who used to be his student, was there, and because of the respect this guy had for Ali, he was telling, straightaway, the others what to do / get.

I was feeling down because of this, and was somewhere where I saw Kyle, and he was going to get married to someone else. I was wondering why he wasn’t / wouldn’t get married to me. If only he was getting married to me.

Dale Bryson (don’t know anyone by this name)

(Ali’s dream)

The Mexican neighbor, and the guy who has been working here, broke into the house. We didn’t see them. They broke through the glass sliding doors, with shattered pieces everywhere. I saw a flashlight that was still on, and knew it was them who did this. Ali got on the phone to the police.

(From Dec. 4, 2014)

The Strangest Secret had a section about black history, which in turn had a section titled, “Who Holds Your Money, Part 1”.


What Is, Is

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was initially worried about someone (Ali?) seeing me this way, assuming this was the start of losing my teeth from getting older, but soon shrugged it off, thinking, what is, is.

(From Nov. 14, 2014 Ali’s dream)

He opened the door, to go out to do something. I told him to close it, because people steal. I kept after him to be more aware of security. He said he was only going to be a couple of minutes.

When he got back, most of his things were gone. I kept reminding him of what I had told him.

We walked for about a mile when we found his things in a corner bush. We took it all back home, then I told him to bring his guitar to Universal Studios with us.

We had been there for a while, half a day(?), when he wanted to go back home. I wanted to stay, and was telling him that I could drive in the dark.

(From Nov. 13, 2014)

A man was standing on a platform / plank, overseeing a big pond / small lake, that was a bit milky looking. He was pointing to it, and telling others, with him, that this is where the power comes from (for the city / town).

(From Nov. 12, 2014)

I went to Wal-Mart to look for something (don’t remember what), but they didn’t have it. There was a tall black man there with two young sons / boys. Wal-Mart was built so that each department had its own section, like Victoria’s Secret, and the sections were diagonal, going from left to right.

(From Nov. 11, 2014)

I had white, edible worms, mixed with mud / dirt, stuck to my right hand / palm, holding them for Briana. After a while, I couldn’t handle them on me anymore, so I scraped them off, telling her that I did

I was walking with a young Steve (9 / 10?). We crossed a street as a red luxury sports car was waiting to turn right (his). After we crossed, I realized that he was taking us back to our old home we lived in during the 80’s. I told him that mom didn’t live there anymore. He got upset as I turned him around, and I may even have had to pick him up so we could go in a different direction.

(From Nov. 10, 2014)

Watching the Simpsons with a child(?), and realizing that it’s a rerun of the last episode, so I mention it.

I’m about to cut my hair, raising the middle part above my head, but decided against it because it would have been to short for Ali. Seems I may have had a thick pink line going across my hair, about the area above my ears.

Someone is showing us the positions of everyone from the recently / previously ended war, using planes and such.

Ali asks if he should buy the “peacock” house (because the people who lived there had one). Thinking that I would, I told him that it was up to him.

(From Nov. 9, 2014)

I’m at a bus station. Amy, and Micalanne, are there also. Mic came separately. I think Amy and I came together. We’re going to our parents house, at least I think Mic is going also. I didn’t ask.

Everyone has to lay out their things first, upon arrival. I did, and after I pack it all back up, wish I hadn’t, as I keep looking over everything still out, making sure I got all my stuff back.

I don’t buy a ticket, deciding to wait for the bus to arrive. It does, and people get on, including Amy. Before going to buy the ticket, I ask a man (driver / worker) if there’s a seat left / any room. He says out loud, for everyone to hear, that it’s full (but uses a different word). Upon hearing this, I become worried that I don’t / won’t have money for a ticket, but then remembered that mom had given me $60.

I’m wondering when the next bus leaves, and so ask Mic when she’s going. She says her bus doesn’t get there until 2 a.m. I incredulously repeat the time.

(From Nov. 8, 2014)

I was at a store, and returned the ends of a loaf of bread, in the bag, for a refund. I was surprised that they gave me the full amount, and not just the amount for the ends.

Ali is outside, sitting on something, about waist-high. He is 6’4″, and built. Not too much, but enough to notice.

Briana was at a friend’s house for Christmas, with her daughters, but not husband. The friends had two trees in the same room, near each other, at an angle. This room was huge. As I was watching the girls have fun, I was thinking that at least they had room to move.

Briana was attempting to take pictures of the trees, with her daughters in the, but there was a ray / glare of sun shining through in front of the trees, so she couldn’t get a good picture.

There was a man on the phone, wanting to talk to the youngest daughter, people saying that it’s her dad, but she wouldn’t talk. The man on the phone is a tall man, with some extra weight. Her dad isn’t so tall, and is thin (last I knew).

It’s Hard

The word “consciousness” came to mind, then Ali told me that it’s hard.

(From Oct. 12, 2014)

The world was going to explode at a certain time, but it didn’t. Don’t know if because it wasn’t going to, or it wasn’t going to at the exact time, on the dot, that was expected.

Greg, but not, looked like a Russian woman. He had gained about 30 pounds, which wasn’t noticeable from the back, and wearing a black dress with belt. He brought the belt up to his breasts.

He had been asked to say a closing prayer (before the explosion ?). He was standing, moving his arms with expression, and started to talk about, before the prayer, with a Russian accent, a weight loss program he was selling, and would need $300.

(From Oct. 11, 2014)

Woke up with the song, “Happy Ever After”, by Julia Fordham.

(From Oct. 10, 2014)

I’m at a (shoe?) store, and hip hop / r&b is playing. The majority of the customers are black. I go to where the music is coming from (front?), and change it. I turn the dial to see what else is playing, but as I turn it, the music stays the same.

As I change the music, I think to myself that I overrule them (the blacks).

Instead of getting upset with me, most of them go to the / a back room to listen to their music.

Still in the store, I have brought two Skechers catalogs that I had gotten in the mail, and am looking through one of them. A young black female is next to me, and she is telling someone else about a couple of the shoes, so I give her the extra one to look through.

(From Oct. 9, 2014)

I was, but wasn’t, in the movie “Alexander and the…. Very Bad Day”, but the circumstances were different. I’m sitting at a rectangular table, at the end(?), with other people, eating. I then see to my left, that several black women have sat down, on both sides, and the end. I tell them that someone else was sitting there.

(From Oct. 8, 2014 Ali’s dream)

He is jogging along a gravel road. Others are there as well. Small towns are along the way. There is a hill that he needs to jog around to come back.

Don’t Lose The Baby

I’m in the passenger side of a car. My dad is in back, needing to come up front, waiting for me to move, but I don’t. He ends up front anyhow. Somehow I have the brake pedal on my side.

My dad drives fast, and I am amazed that I am able to slow the car down as he turns corners (right).

We have come to a small hill, with a road on top. We wait for the cars to pass before driving up / joining them.

Marie Osmond

I have two plastic pieces to put together, but don’t have the substance to / that hold(s) them together. A lady tells me I can buy what I need cheaply. I calmly respond, “Or buy what works”, implying that cost doesn’t matter. She is stunned / shocked that I would say that.

I’m in a van / bus / RV, with other people. We are waiting for something. I have someone’s baby (6 months?). I’m letting it crawl around. A lady tells me not to lose the baby.

Some of the people are standing, speaking Arabic. Sowin is across from me, on the other side of these people. He is Iranian, but understands Arabic. He is listening, but not participating, with his head slightly down.

It is Ramadan month. I, along with the other women, who are Muslim, have plastic wrap around our heads, like when a robber puts on a stocking. I’m still able to breathe. We are strictly not allowed to poke any hole(s), or danger will come to us. Even still, I want to poke a pinhole in between my slightly parted lips.

I have a knowing that everyone has to walk through a tunnel, as is done during this period, women having to wear the plastic. They are allowed to remove it when they reach the other side. I’m amazed that these women are able to do this. I don’t see the tunnel, so don’t know how long it is.

Some of the men are discussing how / that they hate / dislike praying in that room because there is no room to maneuver / move.

As I am waking up, I see myself crying because I have “lost” my baby.

The name Kamar comes to mind.

Ali is picking up his grey hoodie that he had had sized for him. One of the ladies / the lady had stitched something on the top of the flap of fabric that is inside by the zipper, as a memory of his lost baby / son.

Not Sure What To Do

Kyle has come back (from where? Are we still married?), nicely dressed, and walking around normal (his nerves were becoming pinched the last few years of his life). I had the knowledge that he still had his sore / wound in back.

He has brought back a woman with him. He had had sex with her, and was now paying her, giving her 3, or 4, bundles of money. I’m upset, and say to him that he has never given me anything, knowing that he did give me a few things. He doesn’t respond.

I tell this woman, several times, almost pleading, that she doesn’t have to do this. I mention to her that she’s 38, and still wants children. She seems unsure of what to do.

Kyle is sitting outside, talking to someone. The family has gathered inside. As he is walking towards the house to come inside, the door is open, and calling out for Mark. I’m thinking to myself that he isn’t here.

Kyle, me, and another lady, are naked, getting into a sleeping bag(?) big enough for all of us. He wants to be in the middle, facing her. I leave, taking a blanket (that I used to have) with me, going into another room. I lay down between two beds, covering myself, “hiding” from him.

Don’t Belong Here

Before falling asleep, I see a buck(?male deer) with a big snake coming out of its wide open mouth.

Ali, and I, are waiting in line to check in (like at an airport, but only one line, and no seats) for the Skechers sale. We are in the front of the line. I see a guy giving money to the worker helping him. I ask Ali if we are supposed to pay here. He pays no attention, and goes to check in.

We then walk into a large room, 2000-2500 sq. ft. I have lost Ali. I don’t see shoes, but two sectioned off rooms for orientation. The workers there look like office workers. I decide to sit in one of the rooms, by the door, legs facing the door. I’m anxiously / nervously looking / watching for Ali. After a minute, or two, I tell myself that I don’t belong here, so I leave.

I then find out, after walking into the main room, that those who are buying shoes go through orientation first. I tell a male manager that there should be a (big) sign on the wall for those who are here for the first time, and don’t know.

I’m sitting on some steps, holding a thin spatula. I like the colors / look of it, and decide to steal it. As I start to peel off the price tag, which is on the handle, a lady manager walks toward me on her way to go through a doorway which is in front of me to my right. She sternly asks me, “You’re not taking off the tag, are you?” I adamantly respond, “Nooo!” As I put the tag back on.

I’m standing with an NC baseball hat on, figuring which way to wear it. My hair is a mess, looking like it had been teased the night before, and I just woke. A male manager walks by, dressed in a suit, admiring what I’m doing, approvingly.

(Ali’s dream)

We are with other people, standing by an open fence at a border. My family / relatives are included. I tell my family not to cross, and that their papers have been stolen. They don’t listen, and cross anyway. The other people also cross. Ali was about to cross also when I tell him that his papers have been taken. His paranoia kicks in, becoming half dead. He stops, and checks his pockets.

The others start back to the fence to come back, but it closes on them. They are going to be killed. I say that I’m not going to stay here, and I rush to the car, Ali following. As soon as he gets in, I speed away, not even making sure he’s buckled in.

Paying Dues

I’m on Tumblr. One of the posts I see, I go to the original posting because I don’t want commentaries from other people.

Ali pays $10,000 for security (system).

I go past a house that has been turned into a business. There is a big picture window in front. There are counters to the left, with wide enough space between them and the wall(s), for one person to walk through. There are two women in that space. One, is sitting, while the other is standing, helping the line of people who are here to pay their dues.

Hard to See

I’m in my parent’s(?) bedroom, trying on a colorful top / sweater. I go to dad’s mirror, on his closet door, and even though it’s full length, I’m not satisfied by the length. I go elsewhere.

I am outside the room, in a panic because of hearing voices. I look to my right, to go in the bedroom there (in Las Vegas, my room was across from parent’s room), but there is a wall there instead, so I go into my parent’s room. (Parents, or parent’s?)

I’m with a group of girls, and Deborah, at a (small?) restaurant, before it opens, for a meeting. We are sitting in groups of 4 in the booths. The backs for the booths are tall so as not being able to see others. One of the backs is colorful. I want to sit there, but another group is there.

After the meeting, Deborah acts as a waitress, asking us what we want to eat. There is also a tiny older lady there, who I don’t fully see, and I think is the owner.

Because Deborah is taking orders, and because of the time, I’m guessing this must be our dinner, and that it’s free, before the restaurant opens.

Looking over the menu, I see different meat / steak choices. I don’t know which to have. I speak to myself, asking, what does my body want.

There are red roses for sale, in the restaurant, for $30(?). I see a brochure next to them, and it says that one single rose (meaning each individual one) was bought for $80 yesterday. I show this to one of the girls, fascinated by this deficit.

I’m driving, with mom in the car, in the evening. The roads are slick from being wet. The car is new, and I’m not accustomed to the brakes.

I know I need to start slowing down, not seeing the traffic stopped in front of me, at first. The car doesn’t slow down soon enough, so I go between the lanes. There is a white big rig at the front of each lane. I’m not sure I’ll make it, but I go anyway.

I make it through, and cross the intersection, not getting hit as there isn’t any cross traffic.

To my right, I see an empty lot. I go over that way. I see a cop parked there, walking to his car, which has the lights flashing. I’m thankful he’s there, in case I should need him.

I do donuts / circles so the car will slow down, and I won’t hit anyone.

I walk out after, and see an empty (car repair?) business. There are a few Halloween decorations here , and there. I ‘m thinking maybe someone is getting it ready to move in for business.

Ali wants to buy me a car to fill the empty spot in the garage where the other car was.

Scary Position

Delivery truck, driven by a woman, in snow. There was no awareness of any temperature.

Naked guy in a long, somewhat narrow, holding room, with slanted roof on the left side. There were ropes hanging from the ceiling, which he used for doing tricks while being questioned.

Tv, in a box, was delivered that had the DVI port.

(This is from a nap after finishing reading The Energy of Life, Book 7 from the Ringing Cedars series, written by Vladimir Megre.)

Mom, dad, and Amy are gathered together when I announce that I’m getting married later that night at 9. I think Amy may have said something. I said that it’s a scary position to be in again. My dad started saying about me being in a room with others the coming next day. We all looked at him, because he hadn’t gotten it.

(From July 3, 2014)

In Dallas, Texas, a lady reporter sees a little girl (holding a doll?), and asks her a question. The girl says that her mom has real estate (and office, which wasn’t said, but was sorta implied), which was semi-related to the question. The reporter then asked the girl if she was going to have them when she grows up, and the girl said yes.

(From July 4, 2014)

Waiting for skin color?

I took a u-turn.

(Ali’s dream)

He was giving me some money, and one of my family was (almost) yelling at him not to give me any. He asked her why, but she wouldn’t answer, just repeating not to give me money.


A lady, standing with arms spread open, says to me, “You’re an Inuit, not a part of this all”, wanting me to understand. There was a divided plate, with food, in front of me.

Group of girls in a membership club. The first two meetings, though, were flexible.

The second meeting, they went to a small rectangular pool, somewhat shaped like the sand part for the broad jump, and were there to learn how to fall in. I don’t know if I participated.

As the girls were walking away, after this, one of them was cold, and another was telling her why, and what she needs to do to get warm (something about her shirt?).

I didn’t have money to pay for the membership, so I asked one of the leaders if I could still come even though I didn’t have a card. She told me, a bit sternly, “Next time, don’t forget to bring your card”, thinking that I had one, but forgetting to bring it.