Let It Go

I asked, “What is the meaning of the black dog?” I was told that i don’t want to understand it, and then the thought of the Ioniq car came to mind. The words, “Let it go” came to mind.

(From Jan 8, 2018 Pass Me By)

I asked to know when I was going to, or if I was going to, win the lottery. I saw myself holding a child on each hip.

I dreamt that I was standing by a roadside, watching several / the cars pass me by, from left to right. I didn’t see / notice any going the other direction. 

I realized that all the bends in the road, going to the right, were all the same. I decided to paint numbers on them so that no one would get lost. 

(From Jan 7, 2018 Building)

I asked why I had dreamt of winning the lottery. I dreamt that I was out in nowhere, with a couple other people, and we saw an old building. From the back, it looked like it used to be a store, like from the old west. 

Going to the front, you could see that it was a Spanish style church, all white, and all stuccoed, including the door. We went back to the back, and saw that there was an opening, so we went in. 

There was a young family there, living, and restoring the building. From where we were, though, you wouldn’t be able to tell. We saw the spirit of a man, who used to live here, in the face of the man who was here, and we all agreed that we saw him, and I didn’t freak out.

As we were walking around, we found some highlighted words that corresponded to this previous man, knowing he was going to commit suicide, and perhaps this was his way of hoping someone would notice before he did it.

I dreamt that there was lightning, and it touched me, without harming me. 

(From Jan 2, 2018 Isn’t Strong)

I dreamt of the blonde son in the “Chesapeake Shores” show. He used several initials for the show, which was something else. 

I figured that since he was here, I would talk to him. I mentioned his character in the Christmas movie with Danica McKellar. I don’t remember exactly what I said. 

Then I either thought, or did speak, about Meghan Ory’s character on Chesapeake, and how she isn’t strong. I think I got it all out, or maybe I was disrupted at the end so that my words trailed off. 

He had been (lying?) next to me this whole time, on my left. He then rubbed me (down there) a couple times, smiling.

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Forgotten

I asked, “God, why are You allowing the negative entities in my room?” I dreamt that I put a bunch of cat food on the floor instead of their bowls. 

There was a door, and I saw a black dog (looked like the one with the gorilla) with half of its face sticking underneath, sniffing / smelling the food. I realized that I had totally forgotten about the dog. 

I dreamt that I was getting sick, coughing, and someone told me that it was because of the spirits / entities. I told them that I (already) knew, and that I have had them for a month.

I dreamt that I was ordering a peanut butter and banana smoothie at Starbucks. There were a lot of children / people there. The ordering counter was outside. The tall, thin lady didn’t want to make it, so I ordered a birthday cake smoothie.

A short girl who works there, came out with packages of cake, frosting, and other ingredients, including “snowballs” (coconut covered chocolate balls).

It was all blended and had to be put in several cups because there was so much of it. I was telling some of the other workers that the employee didn’t want to make my initial order. They told me that Kenyans don’t make it because they get laughed at.

I dreamt that I was in a yellow house that was being sold. I was looking down through the floor at the “basement” below. I saw a kitten resting on its back, looking up at me. It then waved at me, then got up and moved / left. Some (goats?) then showed up.

I was walking through the small yellow kitchen. The cupboards had dirty edges. There were two lifted / propped up pillows below the sink, with a couple blankets. I was wondering why they didn’t clean in there. It wouldn’t matter now because it was going to be remodeled.

I dreamt that Kyle took me to get some pants. He teasingly was saying that he wanted me to get some that are full length ones instead of mid calf.

(From Jan 9, 2018 Brought Back)

I asked, “Why did I dream of winning the lottery?” I dreamt that Jay (?) was writing a story, and someone wanted to buy it from him. He said no. I’m guessing that some time had passed because when he was brought back to the table, his hair was white, and he was calm.

There were three ladies there to represent the buyer, one of which had a wide mouth. She was nervous when speaking, so another lady (small) took over.

She stood, mentioning the $50 mil that the buyer was offering. Jay had a friend there, and he started apologizing, saying that he didn’t know that that was the reason why they were here. Jay calmly said yes because he was ready to dump the story.

I dreamt that he was being dropped off at a small cabin / house, out in the woods, that he had bought from the money. His friends were dumbfounded that he would choose something small.

The phrase, “Gilmarines do. Marines don’t.” came to mind .

I dreamt that people, masses, were going to be killed, and I had a knowing that it was going to get worse before it gets better.

I saw a bunch of people crawling on a sidewalk, being watched by at least one man, on the way back to Africa. I was hysterically crying, and joined them for support. My hair was long enough to use as kneepads.

Dying

I asked the same question. I dreamt that mom was going to be “euthanized”. Her right arm was in something similar to a blood pressure cuff, but fitting her whole arm, and in water. 

She was confused as to what was happening, and I didn’t understand why it was happening. She was to fall asleep, and that would be when she passes.

I dreamt that some people (Maine Cabin Masters?) had an old white small dog and were taking it out to a dirt area / field to end its life. I was thinking that I was able to understand when it came to the dog because it had done something where I could see the health was affected.

I dreamt that I was driving on the right side, and wasn’t able to slow down fast enough before hitting a white Tesla that was in front of me. I don’t remember why the traffic was slowing down.

The back of the Tesla did get crunched some, but not too tragically. I was waiting for them to pull over so that we could exchange information. I was concerned because it was Ali’s car.

There was a Tesla dealership up ahead a small distance with a u turn / circular entrance, which the car used to exchange for a newer model, never coming back out, so I continued on.

I dreamt of a young Mexican girl (20’s?) who had married an older (40’s?) man. They had been drinking and she got drunk, having a good time and laughing. He then drove somewhere. As they were going, she had a concerned look on her face for a couple seconds then went back to laughing.

After arriving wherever they were going, he passed out on top of her as she was in the drivers seat. She quickly was driving back home, in that situation with him on her, when he woke / roused for only a couple seconds.

I dreamt of a young Mexican girl (same?) who was on video, new on her job. She may have been a reporter. The ladies behind the cameras were telling her to turn on / push the record button. She wasn’t getting it so one of them came over and did it.

I dreamt something with a heavy rain.

I dreamt that Kyle woke me up for work. He was standing on my right, leaning over me. It was still dark so I had to situate to find his lips to kiss.

I dreamt that the orange and white tabby had a certain job to do.

Be Solid

I asked, “What do I have to do to leave this house?” The words, “Be solid” came to mind.

 I dreamt that a female told me that she saw Greg using crack. I halfway believed it, but kept saying, “No, no, no.” She said to look under his car seat.

I dreamt that mom had a light brown comforter and asked me to help situate it on the bed. It was wide enough for 2, or 3 king size beds, and about as long.

I dreamt that we saw some luggage pieces that were stacked, and on the bottom were a couple pieces, on each side, that we thought were gone. I don’t remember if they were all the same, but the one I saw was pink with a gingham style design with big fancy letters, with curls, spelling “Dad.” The word was going from the left side to the top.

I dreamt that I was on a type of bike, at night, with someone sitting behind me, and we were trying to get up a hill. We got halfway up, but were having a difficult time going the rest of the way / getting to the top, where people were.

I was afraid that the gears were going to get stripped because of the difficult time / difficulty we were having.

I dreamt something about being instructed on using a clickable pen for using drugs. A guy was saying something about when you click the pen open (and let go?), to use the end part (that goes inside), which looked like a blade.

I dreamt of being in an exercise class with some visiting acrobats. The female teacher asked them to show us a small performance on the rectangular trampolines that were there.

I dreamt (or in same dream) of a girl telling the teacher / instructor that there weren’t enough men in the class. They were using the stretch / rubber bands. Some of them were up against a wall.

I dreamt about a woman, and her golden retriever, going home, at night, using a dirt path at the right end of the street / block. She was on a bike. There was a field up front, and the houses were in back. 

Someone covered a couple deep lines that were in the dirt that looked like a slanted 11. I was telling a lady (Starbucks customer who does jazzercise?) about this lady. (I watched a Ted x talk about death and dying. 11 weeks until death, dreams and visions of the deceased are increased. I don’t know if that is a connection.)

The word, “Vukuraba” came to mind, which is the Bantu language of Shona, which means “Find out.”

I dreamt of a huge baby (parade balloon size) with transparent skin so that the organs could be seen. It fell through a second story (?) inside a building. 

There were several people there, two women and a man, who seemed to have been doing an experiment / research on the baby. It died after it fell through. 

The women, facing me, almost looked like twins, with short dark hair. The one on the right had a chin like Greg, and had about 4 staples on the bottom of the white of her eyes. I was concerned that if it had gone into the iris (colored part) that she would’ve lost her sight. There was something about them that made me feel uneasy.

Clear Away

I asked, “How do I block the entities from entering the house?” I dreamt that a woman was able to buy a mansion type house (didn’t see) outside of the city center. She was pleased / grateful that she had the money to be able to do so.

There were some overgrown shrubs, along / at the end of a pathway, so she cleared them.

I dreamt that I touched the wrong link on the tablet screen and was frantically trying to stop it so that I could go where I wanted.

I dreamt that a man was coming toward me, giving me a cookie, which represented that I was the one (among others who were there) who had won a / the prize. I knew it was me the closer he got, but wasn’t sure if I should believe it.

I figured that I was the one who won because of what I had written about a guy who once was married to Kim Kardashian. 

I then saw myself, as a passenger, with another woman in between us, in his truck. He was going downhill fast. I asked him how he wanted to die. He slowed down, but not for long.

I think I mentioned / pointed out to the guy, while we were going downhill, how / that he used to be married to Kim Kardashian. I felt as if it wasn’t supposed to be known. As I was saying this, I was envisioning her in a truck with him / another guy. 

There were houses at the end of the street, and he crashed into one. As he was doing so, I was repeatedly telling myself that this was my dream. As he was crashing through, we were crashing through door after door.

The truck finally stopped at the owners bedroom, on top of their bed, which was in the garage. I felt the truck sink into the bed. They were able to get out without being hurt. I was thankful that no one was. I was thinking, “What a way to start a Sunday morning.”

 I went to look at the hole in the house that was made. Neighbors came out to look, and I think there was a young black guy on the phone, telling the other person about it.

(From March 14, 2018 Showed Up)

I dreamt that Ali and I were in an overstuffed, standing room only, fast food restaurant / place for breakfast. I don’t know where he was. I was at the counter ordering French toast that was over $7, and hot chocolate that was over $4. 

As I was finishing my order, Ali showed up to pay. I was calculating the cost of the food, kind of wondering if he would pay. He did so without any fuss.

I dreamt that mom had a 3 year old blonde down syndrome girl on her lap, helping her type on a / the laptop. I think the girl, or my mom, perhaps both, were wearing a bit of pink.

I dreamt something about being at a soccer game, before it started. I don’t care much for it, but I knew Mark does, who was there. It seems I was either down on the field, or in the seats close to the field. I was standing. I think it was in the evening.

Relaxed 

(From April 13, 2018)

I dreamt that I decided to get sexual with Ali in my room. I had my shirt off and was sucking him. I started to hesitate, thinking that I was hearing spirit voices by the front door / area. The cats were coming in the room, Ali was getting sleepy / relaxed. 

I then heard Sara’s and mom’s voices out by the dining table. I let Ali go, putting on my shirt so they wouldn’t see me, realizing that the front door had been left unlocked.

After putting my shirt on, Ali slumped on the bed and started to disappear until he was gone. I kept looking, watching, wondering where he went. I was getting emotional.

I started walking to the bedroom door, slowly, still looking back, wondering about him and watching for him. When I got to the door, I saw mom, dad, Amy (?) all in conversation, standing at the right end of the table. Dad looked strong and healthy. 

I stood there, visibly shaken, silently crying outside, hard sobbing inside, waiting for them to notice, still watching him Ali. Mom finally came over to me. I think I may have told her that he disappeared, but not sure.

I dreamt of directly going to him when he comes out of his room. 

(From April 12, 2018 Managed Well)

I dreamt of a young woman being able to afford an expensive apartment (?) because her money had been managed well during her husbands sickness and eventual death. 

I dreamt that Ali was sitting behind me. I pulled my shirt down to expose my breasts. He grabbed them. He then was in front of me, sucking on my right breast. He gave a little of what could have been a disgusted look on his face and let go. My first thought was that he didn’t like the feel of the little bit of hair that I had and thought how Kyle didn’t even notice them until the end. 

I dreamt of a long rectangular warehouse that I think had sections inside. I was outside. Seems one of the sections was a place for go – karts where you could go to lay low. 

Prepared

(From May 17, 2018)

The thought came to me, “I am prepared.”

(From May 13, 2018 Children)

All dreams were vague but I had the impression that it’s time to start having children.

(From May 11, 2018 Grateful)

I dreamt of a woman, talking to someone else?, mentioning that I wanted children. 

I dreamt that mom shaved her arms.

I dreamt that I was talking to Ali on the phone, and after he finished talking, he played a love song for me (not his). I think the beginning said something about being grateful that I was in his life. I thought that was sweet of him.

(From May 9, 2018 True)

I asked if Ali had a child. I dreamt of two females fighting and I had to pull them apart. The one that I took hold of had a knife and was trying to cut me. 

The words from the movie Princess Bride when the king presented Princess Buttercup to the people and the old woman started saying “Boo” and then mentioned something about true love.

I saw an older black woman (60’s?) with hair down past her shoulders. She was a little ways back. I then saw a 6, or 7, year old skinny black girl sit in front of me. Her hair was in ringlets. It was about to her ears, and was fluffed out. I then had the feeling that it was time to have children.

I saw a one year old (?) sitting motionless in a stroller (one person, like for dolls). I saw what I felt was the hand of Christ, cover the baby with a black blanket, as if it were dead. 

I saw a black woman statue, or a woman made from black material. I didn’t see her head, hands, or below her knees. Her arms were outstretched like a scarecrow. She had an oblong hole in / at her stomach. A computer ribbon was coming out and the other side was attached to the bottom of a flat carton of a dozen eggs.

Blood 

I asked, “What do I need to do to leave Ali’s house?” I dreamt something about blood.

I dreamt that I was in mom and dad’s bathroom, with another female (girl? woman?). I don’t remember why.

I was standing with my left leg up on the tub (?) and pulled out a full bloody tampon. Some fell on the tiles / grout and a couple drops looked like gel but not as dark. It was like the one used for cakes.

I was concerned about the grout but this female knew how to clean it up and started looking through a top drawer to find what she needed.

(From May 19, 2018 Mother)

I asked, “Who am I?” I was thinking, and feeling, that I’m a mother.

(From May 18, 2018 Book of Scripture)

I dreamt that I was driving the big truck that I want. Dark blue. I was at a corner at a stop light to turn right and I had to make sure that the brakes were working so that I didn’t come out in front of the oncoming traffic.

Amy (and Micalanne?) were waiting for me at an empty lot that was there at the corner. I drove in and stopped the truck.

I dreamt that Kyle was alive again and married to another girl. I had a distaste for him. I don’t know why.

I had a bed in the living room (?). A sofa bed? We may have been living at Amy’s.

(Don’t remember exact order of these next ones.) I was in my bed on Sunday morning, with eyes closed, when I heard this girl walking around and quietly say, “Book of Scripture” and another book that I don’t remember the title but may have been written by one of the church leaders, or / a prophet.

Amy was looking for these books and I made mention to her what I had heard. Either I, or Amy, then said that this girl has things to talk to / with the Bishop.

I was in Kyle and this girls bed. I was on his right. He asked her what she wanted for breakfast and she mentioned a certain type of taco. After he left, still in bed, she had his pills in a cup for him. I asked / said that he still takes his pills. She asked / said something about us not being together anymore. I replied that he had died.

Earlier in the dream she was talking about some people she had had sex with. One of them was her second cousin. She now was coming on to me. Telling me that she wanted me to suck her labia, but she used a different word, so I asked her to repeat it but she said never mind / don’t worry about it.

I was thinking that this would be my chance to see what it was like to be with another female, but I wondered if she was clean. I figured that we could do it the next day, Monday, when Amy was at work.

The Bishop and his wife came over for a visit. This girl asked who they were and then she disappeared.

Mom came back from a Dr appointment. She was standing tall and straight with her long hair. She had her weight spread out on her hips / waist. She was wearing a tank top with her shirt and garment top in her hand (s), as if she didn’t have time to change.

Her right temple of her glasses was broken off of her glasses with her still wearing it. I asked her what happened. I don’t remember.

Either Amy, or mom, brought in the mail. She didn’t have too much in her hands but she did have some for me. When she gave it to me, on the floor, there were tons of pictures in the envelopes that they come in after being developed.

The pictures of life with Kyle and I was so happy that I almost wanted to cry. One of the pictures was of our (dream) house that was two stories and at the corner entrance of the street.

The right side of the house was parallel with the main street (when inside looking front). Seems that the house may have been a subdued yellow. On the sidewalk between side of house and street had several big horses facing me. The front one seems to have been black.

The picture wasn’t totally clear. I had a couple muted broken black and white lines going horizontally across with muted black and white snow (?) covering the whole picture. These were not obscuring the picture but were enough to be seen.

The horses all of a sudden came to life galloping toward me and did this a couple times as if it were a gif. The horses then stopped, and when they did, the horses were sideways with some facing the street and some facing the house with heads down as if feeding.

I dreamt that I was talking to Ali, naming the streets where he lived in the beginning of living here in the states. He had love back then.

I then named a street that I assume was the one when he was at the University of Utah. It was ____ Ranch Rd. I said that he had a child there. I think I may have mentioned the next street. I asked him where the love went / what happened.

I dreamt seeing a (circular?) pergola with those tiny outdoor lights and a bunch of pinecones. I wanted to take a picture but decided not to.

Stories 

(From May 30, 2018)

I asked why I had three dreams of Ali wanting sex. I dreamt something about a stack of books that were 1 – 1/2 stories high. 

(From May 29, 2018 Free)

I dreamt that it was my birthday and Ali was giving me a free one (whatever that means). As I was walking naked up some stairs, I told him that I needed to go pee first. 

(From May 28, 2018 Wasn’t Given)

I dreamt that I was about to enter a cafeteria with some people. Before entering, there was an older (than me) lady on my left giving readings to those who wanted. 

She had shades / sunglasses on as if she were blind, but me and the people I was with “knew” that she wasn’t and she knew that we knew. Her readings cost $35.

I got one from her but it must’ve been e-mailed because it wasn’t given to me right then. 

We then continued to the cafeteria. Before entering, there was a wall at the entrance with the meal choices. The adult choices were on the left. There was only one. I said that I’ll have that one, jokingly, as if there were others.

I dreamt that Ali and I were coming out of a parking lot. In a car? Bike? It was night time. I was the driver. The entrance to the street, there was a freeway entrance to our left. We were in San Bernardino. 

Almost asked him if we should take the freeway since he knew the way. I did also. I decided to go right instead. 

Across the street there was a black car coming out from a parking lot that looked like an undercover car but don’t think it was. It turned to our left toward the freeway. It had recently been raining hard / a lot. 

There was still a lot of water on the road. Ali and I were on a bike with me up front. I was sitting a little back on the seat because of my weight. I realized that was why it would get sore down at my pubic area, because of the position, after riding for a while.

We were in the middle of the street, 3, or 4, lanes on either side, sometimes going over to the oncoming traffic side. We didn’t get hit. Oncoming traffic was on the right. I was “weaving” / swerving but not getting hurt. I’m not sure if we were involved in the traffic or just outside of it.

As I was weaving, the bike would lean to a side. I thought that I better stop doing that because we could fall and the bike was a nice bike, with thick tires. 

I was then by myself, walking, on the left side of the road. Though there was still a lot of water, there was no splashing. I walked past a huge sinkhole, that was scary to see, in the road. There were no warning signs that it was there, and no one fell in even though it was covered by water not being able to see it there. 

I was walking on grassy area but wasn’t getting dirty or sinking in from the abundance of water. The ground started moving and I was worried that another sinkhole was going to happen, so I started to quicken my steps and watching where I was walking.

Instead of a sinkhole, the ground came up in a spiky mound / tain, bringing me with it. For some reason I wasn’t able to talk so instead I lifted my arms and shoulders, looking up at the sky, and thinking, “God, really?” 

 I dreamt that Ali was talking to me, sitting down in the addition but with different furniture. He was telling me his thoughts about me (still a little wary?) but was still willing to give me children / start a family.

(The day before, Ali told me that the old man next door was throwing glass on the ground and then sweeping it up.)

I dreamt that I was asking why he was doing that instead of just putting it in the garbage bin. 

I dreamt that I saw a black Ferrari (? I don’t remember what the symbol was) hearse. It had a little resemblance of the Batmobile.

I dreamt that I was at grandma’s house. She had left me two hats. I got emotional that she was no longer there. Barbie was hurried (on the phone?) because there was an event going on outside.

I dreamt about a dog with a costume and grey shoes on. Barbie had taken out the couch and instead there were wooden bench seats along the wall. 

I dreamt that I was in someone’s car and they were about to drive on that same road with the sinkholes. I was worried about what could happen. As we got there, the roads had been fixed with only a couple patches here and there.

Steve

I asked, “Who keeps entering my body?” I don’t remember the beginning but I was in the back of a car (two rows?) on / behind the drivers side. There was an older man (50’s – 60 (‘s)) sitting next to me. It was dark. At night? 

A cold kidney shaped “balloon” showed up between the front of us. I sternly asked, several times, “Who are you?” It moved to the seat in front of us / older man, and turned into a guy who looked like Aaron Goodwin, but had a mustache that grew down both sides of his mouth, reaching down to his chin. He may also have had a tiny triangle under his bottom lip.

I could only see him visibly enough to see what he looked like. He had died earlier in the dream, not in a good / pleasant way. He was someone who used to be our coworker.

It looked like he was wearing a casual dress shirt (if that’s what they’re called), short sleeve, plaid style with bigger squares (?).

I told the older man that it was Steve. The old man responded, “My wife?” So I asked him, “Is your wife’s name Steve?” 

I wanted to ask “Steve” how it felt when he was dying but was woken up by a cat. 

I dreamt something about being in a backyard of a house that was for sale. I was standing on the right side looking to the left. There was a pool next to the house. The right wall was curved up, like the luge. For some reason, I felt dizzy while looking at it.

Next to the pool was a small golf course that ran along the length of the pool.  The lot size was the same as Ali’s. He may have been there also? I was thinking that if this lot was big enough for these, then they would fit in Ali’s yard.

I dreamt something of turning right and having traffic coming at me, as if I was in England. I maneuvered to the right of them to the dirt edge and was thinking, “I hate it when they’re driving / going the wrong way.” No one honked, or got upset at me.

There was something about people wearing purple.

(From June 17, 2018 Bubbles)

I asked who my husband is, as in / with the power couple. I had several dreams but I started doing something when I woke so all I remember is huge bubbles, like soap bubbles.

(From June 16, 2018 No Big Deal)

I asked the same question. I dreamt that I was running up a hill with someone. I don’t remember if I knew who it was, or if I saw the face. I was a little slower than him and I was saying to myself, “Come on body.” 

I dreamt that Mando was holding my hand. There were other people around. I didn’t let go until I went to do something else.

I dreamt that married Hispanic couples were at the park taking pictures. I was thinking that there were still other couples getting married and will arrive shortly after. I was wondering why they were getting married when / if they’re related.

I dreamt that I was in a building and there were other people there. I was telling a blonde guy (famous?), without him saying / asking anything first, that I shaved my head because I felt like it, and also, because I was upset. I don’t remember what he said but it was to the effect that it’s no big deal.

A female showed up and then I was saying that I like it because I can just get up and go (and was thinking that it’ll take longer after it grows / I’ll have to take care of it). 

I was in a hallway with a sign with yoga (written / or poses?) on it. Some guys passed by, back / behind to front, and I told them that I like doing it, and the feeling I get after doing it. They didn’t believe that I did it / could do it.

Before waking, I was told / heard the words, “You’ll receive (an) ailment after 9 years.”