Bluff it anyway 

(From Jan. 2015 Ali’s dream)

(I had told him about Aurora Borealis, which he had never heard of before, the night before)

He is in water, attempting to grab some color that is there, but is not able to. There is a bridge, and the color floats over to it, and gets stuck. I keep telling him to grab it. I am finally able to. He has family there as well. 

(From March 2, 2015)

Kyle was sitting on the ground with his legs out, not being able to walk because his spleen burst and he was waiting for surgery. I tripped over his legs. 

Grandma takes her cat (didn’t have one) for a walk, wearing a harness. The cat has to be dragged a little. 

I’m in grandma’s house. She doesn’t know I’m there. 

Christmas is in 12 days. (Nothing happened.)

(From March 4, 2015)

An older lady, named Vimian, is in the hospital. It was possible that she wouldn’t make it. 

(From March 5, 2015)

I was very happy, enjoying life. I was thinking about the conversation I had with Ali the night before about people being intimidated by others who think highly of themselves, even only if they think they’re cute. I didn’t care if people were intimidated by me (I never have). 

Zac, and I, were in water. Part of it was dark. He was young, no more than 5 / 6. We were in the dark side, but he didn’t like it and wanted to be on the clear side, so we moved. 

We had a quiz about SpongeBob with us, but neither of us knew the answers because we hadn’t seen it. We were / I was going to bluff it anyway. 

I can see for miles 

(From Feb. 14, 2015)

Greg, and Scot, had a younger brother who looked almost exactly like Scot. 

Greg was holding me, and spinning, in such a way so that I could stretch my legs out parallel to the floor, like dancers. At first I was worried about him being able to hold my weight, but realized he was doing it, then started having fun with it, talking a lot (I was quiet as a teen). Afterwards, I said, “See what a mission does / will do?” I’m not sure if he heard because he showed no recognition / validation of me saying it. 

Two E. M. T. ‘s came with a stretcher, but without the bed. There was a tall, skinny / thin male one, and a shorter female one. The male took some type of (crafters) glue, and put a strip lengthwise down the middle. He then put a board over it. This was to be the bed. After doing so, he went faint. Another female came out to check on him. As soon as she appeared, he popped back up, and she turned around. I thought that she should still check up on him. 

I was watching a Christmas episode of the Simpson’s. I don’t know if it had aired yet, or if it was a preview, but with “tighter” drawing. A lady, at a professional business building, on the main floor, was pointed out to her that she hadn’t put a Christmas tree up yet. 

I woke up with the song, “I can see for miles and miles”

Looking through her eyes 

(From Jan. 26, 2015)

Ali, to my left, was walking me through a rectangular shaped building. The floor was white tile with black grout. There were cafe tables along both sides, by the walls. The walls may have had greenery, not sure since I didn’t pay attention to them. Sitting at the tables were Arab men, watching us walk through. I didn’t know it was only for them, so I put my hands up in the air, as if to say, “c’est la vie”. 

(From Jan. 27, 2015)

Judy was working at a radio station, in the offices, which was rectangular shaped, horizontally. The door was in / near the bottom right corner. Her desk was facing another, up against it, on the left side of the rectangle. Her hair was (flat?) frosted over dark, and was about shoulder length. I was thinking how short she was, and that I never realized that when she wore her hair short, bleached, and fluffy (?), she looked taller. She was wearing dark jeans. 

She and a female coworker, also short, were standing over by the desks. This lady looked at the lady standing in the dark doorway, who had no expression. The lady they saw used to work with them. The first lady waved at the other, telling her to come in, but she didn’t move. I was the one looking through her eyes. 

Ali was sitting on a bag that had a lion inside. The lion was coming out. I asked the Angels, anyone to help because I was scared it was going to bite Ali. It didn’t. 

(From Jan. 29, 2015)

I’m on a stationary city bus, looking outside, and wondering what Carol (ex-coworker from D. I.), and others, are standing around for. Eventually I see another bus come, and they get in. 

It’s foggy outside, and the traffic is going usual speed. I’m worried that the driver is going too fast, for fear of not being able to see what’s ahead. 

(Ali’s dream)

A woman comes and steals my 10 pound weights, wanting to use them for exercising. She is dressed in sweats. As she walks away, with hands in the air, on the street, I run up to her, and violently grab the weights out of her hands. She is confused, and scared. I tell her, adamantly, that I’m going to wait right here until she understands that these are my things. There are people, of all ages, in the street watching. 

I Didn’t Want To See 

(From Feb. 15, 2015 Ali’s dream)

Someone, renting from us, who was burning incense. I told them to leave, and told Ali, “I knew we shouldn’t have rented to them.”

(From Feb. 16, 2015)

I had bleeding legs from shaving to hard. 

I was inside a building, with separate rooms, for bands to come and give small concerts. The first room I was in was for KISS. They weren’t out / on stage yet, but everything was set up for them, and there were 4 microphones next to each other. Someone was speaking over the speakers talking about how the group came together. 

I then went into a room with Fall Out Boy. The singer was yelling the lyrics, and was almost laying down, propped up on something with his left arm, facing up. There were 20-somethings there, sitting as if in a living room, comfortable. 

It was known that sex happened among the audience. I didn’t see any happening, but left because I didn’t want to see. I went back to the room with KISS. 

(From Feb. 19, 2015)

Women were coming out of a building, not sure if it was a church, but they were dressed as such. I asked Amy, “Is that it?”, thinking there was more. 

As I was walking along one of the sidewalks, there was a brown pit bull / boxer. Some may have thought he looked scary, but he wasn’t to me. I then saw several black dogs on the other side of him. They were all happy, and doing dog stuff. I pointed out the brown one to Amy. There was also a lady with long brown hair. A Native American?

Amy was then going to drive us home. She was not on the road though, but on top of a craggy hill. She was waiting for a man to move out of a certain place / area so that she could go that way. 

He moved after us waiting several seconds. As we started to descend, I think I asked if she was sure about this, and if she knew what she was doing. We were always pointed down. The last I saw, after going over / past a ledge, the side of the hill went further in, which I think caused the car to start falling, back end starting / coming up and over. 

Not Overflowing 

(From Jan. 23, 2015)

An older Mexican lady was staying in one of my parents rooms because she had cancer, and she still looked good. She had recently moved in. On all the walls she had blue ruffle curtains. There was a lady there lying next to her on the bed, and this Mexican lady laid her head on the right shoulder of the other. 

I was jealous, almost to where I could get depressed, of other people who have their own vehicle. Even poor black people had their own camper / trailer. I heard someone mention / tell me about my jobs, that I had left them. I wanted to say, except one. 

My right forearm was in a cast. When I was sitting, I could still see a little of stomach roll. 

My right thumb had an extra layer of nail, looked like acrylic, just above the bed. I pulled it off, slowly, and then blood started rising / coming to the surface, not stopping, but also not overflowing. 

(Ali’s dream)

The momma cat was outside, in front, and something was stopping her from coming through the gate to the backyard (she hasn’t been here for several days). 

(From Jan. 24, 2015)

(Ali’s dream)

He, and some other guys he grew up with, who have passed on, were taking a math test. There were certain steps to follow. Ali was the only one to get it. Something to do with 61, and 3. 

I Keep Going 

(From Jan. 17, 2015)

I was sleeping in bed. My mom comes next to me, and tells me that it’s time to go to bed. I don’t open my eyes. I want to continue sleeping. She turns off the small fan I have beside me. 

She then wants to show me a newspaper with an article about Oprah, who had brought an older (70’s?) black lady on her show (when she had it), who had taken care of three (at different times) returned vets. Oprah had brought one of them to the show as a surprise. When he started walking out, on the left, audience to his right, she ran over to him to give him a hug. (I was on set, watching.)

Deion Sanders was there, lying on his left side, propped on his elbow, facing facing forward, and to his right. The audience was to his left. He was wearing a tan /creme suit. The audience was chuckling at something, then he said, “No, serious, I’m / It’s not very pretty”, alluding that he had also gone to war, and come back disfigured. I couldn’t see anything different about him. 

(From Jan. 18, 2015)

Kyle was in water, some kind of pool?, and wanted to see if he could touch the bottom. It was a bit dark, but could still see. He wasn’t able to get to the bottom because of his wound on his stomach still healing. I was also in / under the water, and wanted to say something to him, thinking I might be able, as he was coming back up, but I wasn’t able to. 

While still dreaming, I was describing / attempting this dream to someone. 

The family went to visit Judy, who was in the hospital. She was in the right corner room. I didn’t want to go inside, since she isn’t connecting with me at the moment. I turned around, and saw Amy, facing Judy, there, as a patient. I didn’t realize she would be there, so I sat out there, with her, on a couch that was between her and the wall. She was hoping to be able to get out later that day. There were other beds around, with people in them, kinda like the e. r. 

She was watching a movie that had Emma Thompson (?). It was obvious, to me, that this was a recent movie, and not made when she was younger, as she had horizontal lines across her face, not too deep, but enough to notice. 

Emma had something hit her left side of the head, showing a red ribbon falling down the front. She said she was ok, then blood started coming out. Another scene, after time had passed, the blood had suddenly stopped previously, but then started back up again, getting all over the walls / place, which scared her. I told Amy I wasn’t going to watch. 

There was a path / road in between fences (?). I was driving the small white Toyota pickup I used to have (didn’t see), and stopped behind a semi without the trailer. I got out to ask the driver, who was standing outside, if I could make it, because there was a short distance that’s burning from the sun (temperature). He told me that, yes, I could, but that I (end up) keep going (not telling me, but acknowledging that that’s what I (usually) do). I decided to add water anyway so that the engine wouldn’t overheat. I then looked up, and saw the path / road going up a mountain to a castle at the top (like in movies). 

I was talking with someone, at my parents house, with Amy, mom (?), and I think others. We hear my dad punishing Steve, hitting, in another room. I firmly tell my mom to go stop him. We all go there, and I tell my dad, firmly and adamantly, to leave the house. I wasn’t sure I was going to have breath to speak, but I did, and I was surprised. 

Moist

(From Dec. 15, 2014)

A foal was being born.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was sitting at a table, on my right, that I was standing next to. He was watching me. I wanted to ask him about Austria, but couldn’t come up with a good question.

I then was sitting across from him, and had my right hand on top of his, thick and big and hairy, and saw that mine was almost as big as his, and made mention of this.

A wave was attempting to choke / harm me, but didn’t. Next thing, it was acting normal.

Water was spilled inside a building / church, from me, and I saw a door, so I opened it so it would go outside. It started to flood the greenery area in front of the door. At first I was concerned, but then thought, oh well.

I was searching for my mom inside this church. A lady came up to me, after I had gone in circles several times, and asked if I needed help. I told her, then she got on a walkie talkie, and started describing me. I don’t know why, and wanted to tell her what my mom looks like, but didn’t because I figured she had a reason for doing what she was doing.

Arnold was inside a temple, speaking, and said the word, “moist “. The people started getting excited over that, including some reporters who were in a separate room with a window dividing.

(From Dec. 17, 2014)

Some guys were after me with a weapon, so I said, firmly and adamantly , twice, “Angels, help now!”

(From Dec. 22, 2014)

Vague dreams all with Christmas theme.

Tubs / Unstable floor / Witch house

(From Dec. 20, 2014)

Either I was running for president, or there were people who had been talking about me running. I got a bit concerned, for a little, because of the corruption in the government.

Feel the Empty Space

(Night before I asked why I was called “The Mother”)

A guy was cozying up with me, talking with me. I realized that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, but didn’t worry too much about it since he didn’t seem to notice / be affected by it.

Someone, Ali ?, mentioned that I hadn’t brushed my teeth, so I told him that I had been chewing (minty) gum.

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was looking behind it, where there was some of my gums (normal, supposed to be there), to figure out why it would come off / out. I saw a tiny white spot at the top left corner, and thought that might be the reason.

I attempted to put it back, like a nail (not pushing it up in the gums), but it wouldn’t stay. I then let it go, and figured that Ali will have to live with me like this.

I put my lip down, and it felt weird to feel the empty space.

A young teenage girl, with shoulder (blade) length brown hair, had a boyfriend, came from a wealthy family, and was enjoying life.

One day she found out that she had a certain type of skin cancer. A couple of days later, she was looking at her face in the mirror, with boyfriend behind her, and mentioned that she saw a sign of it showing up on her face.

She lived with a lot of ladies, relatives?, and had a lot of dogs (not seen, but knew).

There was a festival in town, and she went to enjoy it while she could. Someone asked where her boyfriend was.

She “skated” down a cement curved slope. The scene continued to the left, showing several different groups of people showcasing their own entertainment / talents, like a parade, but they were stationary.

I saw a group of people singing the Star Spangled Banner song in a dunked up version / way. Next to them were ladies doing a dance routine with those things they throw up in the air.

This girl had become a bit weaker, but still happy. She had just sold a shirt, or clothes, and was holding a wad of cash in her hands, looking at it. She had some tears, but was smiling, because of what she had planned to do with it for her family. She was wearing black and white striped clothes, with varying widths.

(From Nov. 17, 2014)

A lady loved getting tore up / mangled by dogs, and would get paid for it. She didn’t have any ambulances around, but had two people who were there to help clean and bandage her wounds.

There were black baby kittens on a small slope of a hill, but they were balls, like when fish lay eggs. Someone was moving them, attempting to scoop them up, but not using the scoops nearby, so they were rolling down, about to drop to their deaths.

I was at a nice, well built, non denominational church, just to see what it was like. There was a man sitting a couple of chairs away from me on my right. He was “teaching”, using a tablet(?). One part, he was talking about politicians, showing faces. I saw Mitt Romney. This man said that Mormon’s don’t matter. He went on to something else, saying again about the Mormon’s. I stopped him, and asked if Mormon’s don’t matter because they are irrelevant to his discussion, or because he doesn’t like them. He started answering by not answering, as he backed his chair away.

A little blonde girl (2 / 3) was then sitting on my lap. Though there were no signs, people knew that she was abused. She was still happy though. She wore a dark dress, with tiny white spots?, and I was rubbing her legs. She wasn’t bothered by that. I then saw hair sticking out of her mouth, and went to take it out. As I went for it, I noticed that the end of her tongue was pierced, and this hair was tied through the hole. She put her tongue back inside, so I wasn’t able to get to it.

(From Nov. 16, 2014)

I was in a class, not for schooling, but like a community one, for fun. One day a light skin Arab man offered to give me, and another woman, a ride home. He dropped her off, then continued on. I was going to tell him that I live in Riverside when he brought out some masking tape (the brown / tan one). I knew what his intentions were, so I got out of there.

I was running in the city, like in New York with the alleys between the businesses, and couldn’t find a place to go. I finally said, out loud, “God, show me a way out”, or something like that. I then saw that I could go down a certain alley.

I went down, and through a door. It was a small rectangular room, like at church for nursing mothers, but there was only a long rectangular mirror on the left, with a counter below it. I debated getting under, but figured he would see me, so I went next to the door so that I would be behind it when he opened it.

After he opened it, and didn’t see me, I heard some ladies voices coming our way, and he closed the door without looking behind.

The Mother

I am standing between benches, turned toward the back, in the chapel of the church, on the right side, speaking with someone. I am wearing an empire waist dress, blue / sea green(?) coloring, maybe some tiny flowers(?). My hair is dark brown / black, but looks natural. I have added some pounds (10-15/20).

A tall, big man walks in at the back. He sees me, and walks to the left toward a lady, to ask about me. Jovially / happily, she says, “Oh, the Mother”, and brings him to me, which by now I’m near the front on the left side, and introduces him to me. He reminds me of Kyle, intriguing me. I tell him, yes, I am a mother, thinking about my two children, thus the weight. Later on, though, I realize / tell myself that I don’t have any children.

This man has a Polish last name, with the weird spelling. He is funny, having previously been on SNL. His singing is beautiful, to almost being of an operatic quality, seeing him sitting where the choir sits, in the top row.

At one point, I am walking through a hallway, in the church, with him, and others, behind me. I’m having a bit of a difficult time walking, but not struggling, with a smile on my face when I look back.

There are some cards with names inside. Don’t know what for. I see mine, and the big guys together, mine having his last name. A man says it’s because he always sees us together.

I’m sitting outside, by a round table with an umbrella(?), watching two dark black bald men, who are about 20 yards away, get situated. I’m wondering what the big guy would say / do if he saw me looking, but also thinking it wouldn’t bother him too much.

I had put a sleeping bag outside, in the back, but forgot about it. Next thing I know, it’s raining, and Steve, as a young boy (11?), is in it. A church leader, who isn’t physically there, but can see him, asked how he is doing. Steve responded that he is fine, except for the fact that he can’t feel his fingers / hands, and toes / feet. He then covers himself. There is a small grave next to him, with something buried.

There is a line of Asian men, wearing black suits, holding red umbrellas, on the side of a mountain. I only see the faces of the first couple of them, as I see them from above. I don’t know where they came from, where they are going, or how many there are, as I assume that they go around the corner.

(From Oct. 26, 2014)

A tall, big man, who likes me, and wants to get involved, picked me up so that my back was against his left arm, and my legs over his right.

I’m worried about him being able to hold my weight, but then concluded that he could because of his stature.

(From Oct. 25, 2014)

I’m outside, taking a test. My teacher is Bishop Powers. He is enjoying the day, and is enjoying it so much, that he becomes overheated, and needs to lie down on a table. I mention to him, “I thought you had learned from last time”, or something to that effect.

While taking the test, we were able to freely converse with each other. I was one of the last two to finish. The test papers were more like a thin book stapled(?) together, and the pages were of varying shapes, sizes, and maybe colors. The questions themselves also weren’t thought out well. One of the last ones wanted me to put in order several animals, stacked upon each other, which included a hummingbird, turtle, and a cat. The longer I looked at this, more animals seemed to show up.

A guy appeared, as I was finishing, who sat as close to me as he could, on the right side, in an affectionate way. He looked a combination of Eddie Vedder, and a 7th grade t.a. We had taken a previous class together, and knew each other from that, but didn’t do anything outside of that class.

He told me he was from Provo, Utah, and he was what is known / called “Nu Essence”. He then took out, from his right pants pocket, what looked like a small jewelry box, and then got on the ground next to me, facing me. He said he was what was called “Level(?)”, which I might have heard of / about. I told him no, I hadn’t. He then started to explain. (I woke as he was doing so.)

As he was on the ground, I assumed that he was going to ask me to marry him. I was thinking I would tell him that we hardly know each other, but I was considering saying yes. I was also going to tell him that I would give him an answer the next day, as I needed to discuss this with Ali.

(From Oct. 24, 2014)

Ali was gone for several days, for something, and my dad was here with me. Shortly after going to bed, the alarm went off. I went to check it out, and by the time I got to it, it was turned off, and a guy from church in Moreno Valley was there. He came because some of the floor, in the kitchen(?), needed to be removed and replaced. I saw water underneath the house. He then left, but I told him the floor needed to be fixed, and he said it would be. Another guy, also from church in Moreno Valley, showed up to fix it.

The alarm was in a closet, and I saw writing, in black ink, written by a lady. Ali had smudged some of it, maybe so I couldn’t read it?

We had a large round, globe sized, chandelier, and two men were fixing the lights / lighting.

I was reading, in a newspaper(?), “The life you are to have will be”, or something along those lines.

Dad asked about death, if whether now, or at the end life, or both. I said both.

(From Oct. 23, 2014)

A female is parked in a white car, backed up. Not in a lot, but more like under an empty overpass. I don’t see her. She is frantic, on the phone to 911. She is telling the operator that a man is coming after her. The operator knows about this man.

The man, in a car, backs up to her car, speeding, crunching hers, then takes off.

I’m standing on the passenger side, by the back, a ways back. I see her falling out in two, but she is not a body, but more like two burnt circles. I think someone comes with something to cover her.

Black family, mostly women in their 50’s / 60’s, leave church early, as one of them is in a wheelchair, and they don’t want the other people to get in the way.

David Bowie is there, dressed warmly in a dark sweater. I ask him if Iman is ok with him being Mormon. He acknowledges yes.

We (including?) are at Oprah’s house, looking at her collectibles collection. She has some life-sized statues from different movies. She also has some things of Einstein.

I am riding in a rail train, with no top, with somebody else, inside this room. Looking down, I mention that the rail isn’t there, but then I see it.

I’m in Alan Alda’s bedroom, standing at the end, to the left (if on the bed). I think there might also be an orangey cat.

Alan is on the right side of the bed. He has on those square glasses with the big black frames. He is wearing striped pajamas, but I see that they are see through, and see what looks like white shorts underneath.

His wife is next to him, sitting up, with shorts on. She is skinny, so much so, that I can see a bone sticking out of her left leg, up by the hips. She has really short hair, and I wonder if she is gay. There are several different colored striped pajamas on the end of the bed between them.

Alan puts his arm over her stomach / chest area, bringing her down, wanting to get frisky with her. She mentions that I am there. I know they do other things, read, when I’m not there.

(Didn’t realize I had so much to write.)

Not Sure What To Do

Kyle has come back (from where? Are we still married?), nicely dressed, and walking around normal (his nerves were becoming pinched the last few years of his life). I had the knowledge that he still had his sore / wound in back.

He has brought back a woman with him. He had had sex with her, and was now paying her, giving her 3, or 4, bundles of money. I’m upset, and say to him that he has never given me anything, knowing that he did give me a few things. He doesn’t respond.

I tell this woman, several times, almost pleading, that she doesn’t have to do this. I mention to her that she’s 38, and still wants children. She seems unsure of what to do.

Kyle is sitting outside, talking to someone. The family has gathered inside. As he is walking towards the house to come inside, the door is open, and calling out for Mark. I’m thinking to myself that he isn’t here.

Kyle, me, and another lady, are naked, getting into a sleeping bag(?) big enough for all of us. He wants to be in the middle, facing her. I leave, taking a blanket (that I used to have) with me, going into another room. I lay down between two beds, covering myself, “hiding” from him.