Right Before the Mother Dies 

(From April 25, 2015)

I am in England, with a couple other people. I am in awe that I am here, and yet, there are people back home, in America, doing their own thing (s). 

I am on an open train (?), taking a tour of Sherwood Forest, but up in the air looking down. It isn’t a forest though, and has metal red(?) horses situated here and there. I see tourists walking around. 

The train jolts, and goes down, like a theme park ride (The Simpson’s at Universal Studios), but I’m not too scared / worried. 

(From April 26, 2015)

I’m in Switzerland. I left on Friday, during the day, and ended up there on their Saturday, during the day. I was to leave to come back home on their Monday, and arriving here on Sunday. 

(From April 27, 2015)

I’m in a building, not big. The walls have small “holes ” / pocks. Two ladies have painted 3D motion pictures on the walls (where you tilt your head to see different pictures). One of them was of a black horse walking through / up / down (facing me) a stream. I got a little teary eyed, and told the ladies that it reminded me of Bambi, and then thought, “right before the mother dies “. 

Another picture was of a woman from shoulders up, wearing a coat with a fluffy piece around her neck. The ladies mentioned something to me about this one, but don’t remember what. 

(Ali’s dream)

I was being bossy, telling people they had to exercise / workout. 

(From April 28, 2015)

I’m watching a movie / show. The outside of a building has a blinking sign / letters because that’s how the owner wants it. 

Inside a / the building, two men have become aware that a body / person inside a drawer in a mortuary is actually alive. They have opened it up, and are looking inside. The scene is to the right of the drawer, same height, looking at the front of the men. 

I’m Not a Mother 

(From March 20, 2015)

We had something delivered from a thrift store. Along with it was a blue baby shoe. It had the company’s tag, along with a white tag with 13 on it. 

I wanted to go back to the store to find the other one. (Why didn’t I return the one I had?) When I got to the store, it was at the church. I wanted to start on the right side (chapel in top middle). 

I saw a couple jewelry boxes, and when I opened them, the “diamond” had come off, but still there. 

I found a tool where I could change the opening, at the top (like a monkey wrench). I showed it to John (D. I. ) because I knew he be interested, which he was. 

Someone showed me a pink baby shoe, with silky ribbon for the tie. I mentioned that wasn’t it, but a blue baby shoe that was like it. I didn’t mention that it had a regular tie. 

(Ali’s dream)

I was on a track, having to jump over obstacles. I was in front, Ali behind me. No one else was able to jump, and some black women were complaining about having to jump. 

(From March 21, 2015)

I’m in the cultural hall at church by the stage. There is a curtain semi around me. I am taking a shower, with my underwear on. The ceiling sprinklers come on. No one shows up for a while. A man finally shows up. I’m wondering what took so long for him to show, and the sprinklers came on when there’s no fire. 

I was looking at a black piece of paper, with white writing on it, on both sides with the middle empty. It was about the zodiac sign of Gemini. I heard Cher’s voice reading it. 

(From March 27, 2015)

I’m walking into Relief Society, going to sit by my mom. Excitedly, she said, “Happy birthday! Happy Mothers Day!” I then say, “But, I’m not a mother.” Suzanne (from church when I was a teenager.)

(From March 18, 2015)

Kyle, and I, are lying in (separate?) bed (house in my teenage years). He said something to me about checking the food under the desk. I look, and see a box of food with cockroaches crawling over it. There are some tabby cats under his bed (on the right), at the end, and they also have cockroaches crawling on them. 

Bounce right back up

(From Jan. 30, 2015)

Seems like the 1800’s, Little House on the Prairie / Anne of Green Gables, style. A young girl (10?) is outside of a house, with a table vertical to the house, on the right. A boy has walked away, and (she runs after)

(From Feb. 12, 2015)

A man (Eric Pepin?) is in the house, sitting on the floor. He is showing us that / how he can pull up a person’s name on the SmartTV. He brings up a head shot of an autistic girl, whose name is Cass, with another female beside her. Cass is dangerous. 

It’s soon time to leave, and I mention to someone that the blinds need to be shut (over the glass doors) because it’s dark outside. 

Before Eric leaves, he gives me a hug. He comes to my chest area. We are both surprised at the difference, thinking we were about the same height. I mention that I’m amazed at this. 

I was in the drivers seat of Kyle’s (beat up) station wagon, in an enclosure. There was a boat in front of me, and a vehicle behind, blocking me in. I did see an opening though, behind the vehicle, so I went through. There was a small ditch, wide enough for one person, with water running through, which I was able to cross over. The tire went down, then bounced right back up. 

(From Feb. 13, 2015)

I’m in the garage, with a big black dog, ready to take off for when the police break down the door. 

Ali, and I, have to leave the house. I’m scared. It’s dark outside with some light coming in. On the floor, I see a black shadow, line, appear in the middle. 

Outside, I see two of the Siamese kittens, about a year old, with some lightly colored of Siamese colorings. The Siamese father is in the middle of them, as if watching over them. They look toward me, and their eyes turn white, I take a picture. 

Looking through her eyes 

(From Jan. 26, 2015)

Ali, to my left, was walking me through a rectangular shaped building. The floor was white tile with black grout. There were cafe tables along both sides, by the walls. The walls may have had greenery, not sure since I didn’t pay attention to them. Sitting at the tables were Arab men, watching us walk through. I didn’t know it was only for them, so I put my hands up in the air, as if to say, “c’est la vie”. 

(From Jan. 27, 2015)

Judy was working at a radio station, in the offices, which was rectangular shaped, horizontally. The door was in / near the bottom right corner. Her desk was facing another, up against it, on the left side of the rectangle. Her hair was (flat?) frosted over dark, and was about shoulder length. I was thinking how short she was, and that I never realized that when she wore her hair short, bleached, and fluffy (?), she looked taller. She was wearing dark jeans. 

She and a female coworker, also short, were standing over by the desks. This lady looked at the lady standing in the dark doorway, who had no expression. The lady they saw used to work with them. The first lady waved at the other, telling her to come in, but she didn’t move. I was the one looking through her eyes. 

Ali was sitting on a bag that had a lion inside. The lion was coming out. I asked the Angels, anyone to help because I was scared it was going to bite Ali. It didn’t. 

(From Jan. 29, 2015)

I’m on a stationary city bus, looking outside, and wondering what Carol (ex-coworker from D. I.), and others, are standing around for. Eventually I see another bus come, and they get in. 

It’s foggy outside, and the traffic is going usual speed. I’m worried that the driver is going too fast, for fear of not being able to see what’s ahead. 

(Ali’s dream)

A woman comes and steals my 10 pound weights, wanting to use them for exercising. She is dressed in sweats. As she walks away, with hands in the air, on the street, I run up to her, and violently grab the weights out of her hands. She is confused, and scared. I tell her, adamantly, that I’m going to wait right here until she understands that these are my things. There are people, of all ages, in the street watching. 

I Didn’t Want To See 

(From Feb. 15, 2015 Ali’s dream)

Someone, renting from us, who was burning incense. I told them to leave, and told Ali, “I knew we shouldn’t have rented to them.”

(From Feb. 16, 2015)

I had bleeding legs from shaving to hard. 

I was inside a building, with separate rooms, for bands to come and give small concerts. The first room I was in was for KISS. They weren’t out / on stage yet, but everything was set up for them, and there were 4 microphones next to each other. Someone was speaking over the speakers talking about how the group came together. 

I then went into a room with Fall Out Boy. The singer was yelling the lyrics, and was almost laying down, propped up on something with his left arm, facing up. There were 20-somethings there, sitting as if in a living room, comfortable. 

It was known that sex happened among the audience. I didn’t see any happening, but left because I didn’t want to see. I went back to the room with KISS. 

(From Feb. 19, 2015)

Women were coming out of a building, not sure if it was a church, but they were dressed as such. I asked Amy, “Is that it?”, thinking there was more. 

As I was walking along one of the sidewalks, there was a brown pit bull / boxer. Some may have thought he looked scary, but he wasn’t to me. I then saw several black dogs on the other side of him. They were all happy, and doing dog stuff. I pointed out the brown one to Amy. There was also a lady with long brown hair. A Native American?

Amy was then going to drive us home. She was not on the road though, but on top of a craggy hill. She was waiting for a man to move out of a certain place / area so that she could go that way. 

He moved after us waiting several seconds. As we started to descend, I think I asked if she was sure about this, and if she knew what she was doing. We were always pointed down. The last I saw, after going over / past a ledge, the side of the hill went further in, which I think caused the car to start falling, back end starting / coming up and over. 

When Am I Going to Need This?

(From Jan. 20, 2014)

I overheard Judy complaining to someone about me. One of the things she said / accused me of, was that I laugh like my mom. A little later, I was near her, and my mom (?), and said, above a whisper, but but not regular, that I don’t laugh like her. She didn’t respond / acknowledge, so I don’t know if she heard. 

(From Jan. 21, 2014)

I was tagging / thinking of tags to use, on a post of the Beatles (with a black background), on tumblr. 

(From Jan. 22, 2014)

I was wanting to cross some railroad tracks, but trains were coming right to left, maybe both ways, with the headlight on. I may have been on a bike in a dirt area. I was having to wait for Travis, who was there in the dark. 

There was an Indian (India) girl / young woman, dressed in light blue, in the customary dress, walking right to left. She was about 20-30 yards away from me, and I was hiding / watching her to make sure of ?

I was in the / my restroom, using it, when mom tried / juggled the doorknob. Not being able to come in, she went through my room to come in. She said, “I shouldn’t have let you ?”

A man, with a bit of a soft belly, told me that he had wanted to date me, but didn’t because I was shining so bright. I told him he should’ve asked anyway. I couldn’t be with him now because I was with Ali, but I thought / considered it. 

I was in class, and this man is the teacher. We are learning how to put gas in the tank, before it gets installed in the car. I’m wondering why I’m learning this, when am I going to need this in life?

Impersonators

(From Dec. 30, 2014 Ali’s dream)

There were two police impersonators here who wanted to handcuff Ali. We were telling them that they can’t do this. Ali asked where their badges were. I said something about having them on video. They left, and we were going to report them. I said that I needed to get one of my shoes. 

(From Jan. 3, 2014 Ali’s dream)

I was bowling, up on a stage of a huge arena. My sisters were there, wanting to participate. I told them, being bossy, that they had to be in shape, giving them time limits to lose weight to be able to participate. They were shocked that I would say this in public, and they didn’t know what to do.

 Some Ethiopian ladies wanted to participate, saying that they were foreigners. I told them that that didn’t matter. They were also shocked. 

Someone asked me how I learned to play, and I replied that I just knew. 

(From Jan. 2, 2014)

Ali, and I, were walking among a crowd at night. He tells me to walk faster, knowing that there’s a guy somewhere behind us who he knows, not wanting to hear / listen about Moses. 

(From Jan. 8, 2014)

I’m sitting in a room, with a lady next to my left, who I apparently know. There is also a lady standing in front of me. Looking at me, she (standing) sees a different person, within me, with big black eyes, not in a creepy way. 

Russian

(From Dec. 26, 2014)

Russian

(From Dec. 28, 2014)

(Night before I asked what do I do to support myself)

There was a bumpy hill in the backyard, the house being at the top. There was a tabby cat, on the left, lying on its back with the head upside down, and then turned to look at me.

Amy was there, and I told her that she should see Ali with the tiger (with black stripes).

There was an industrial looking fan, with a space between the blades, and edges. I was putting / dropping down gold coins through, and one got stuck.

Ali, and I, got married, then had sex, and it was ok because we were already married. Later (how much?), I was either thinking of getting a divorce, or we were going to get divorced.

On the hill, there was a single colored fox, rusty?, that I petted a couple of times, then it laid on its stomach, and worm size sausage looking links of poop came out.

I was topless, and my body was green. My nipples were half way down, and when I covered them, my body looked like a man.

(From Dec. 31, 2014)

Someone was reminding / telling Richard Branson , while standing on a balcony, how / that he likes/d Miami.

Kyle was lying next to me on the bed, naked. I was playing with him.

Reggie Dawson (don’t know anyone with that name)

Briana

Travis. I thought I was supposed to see him on the 18th.

A tall thin black man wanted to steal my trench coat. As he was leaving, in the dark, talking to us, I was looking at his dark blue / black knitted sweater he was wearing, making sure it wasn’t my coat.

Rainbow

(From Dec. 7, 2014)
Night before, there was a protest / demonstration, and I asked why I experienced it.

I see the right side of a rainbow with black borders, and a black line in between, every two colors (I only saw 6). There is another one in front of it, moving to the right. I’m telling my mom, who is sitting at the table, so she’ll come look, but doesn’t. I tell her that I had taken a picture of a previous one.

(Ali’s dream)

We were in a line with thousands of people. Obead asked Ali if he has a ticket. Ali asked, “For what?” He said this is the entry to heaven. He then started making fun of Ali, thinking Ali didn’t know why he was there. Other Africans, from the same village, started laughing also. He asked Ali, “Do you have tickets for heaven?”, in a mocking manner / way. Ali showed him the tickets, one for him and one for me, while saying, “I got it.” Ali then asked him if he had one, no response, then told him to worry about his own ticket, and not his.

(From Dec. 11, 2014)

A young female said she lost weight using Millennium. I asked her if that was the product name, or company name. She didn’t answer because she wasn’t listening.

Ship with bar going across top, to balance / stabilize it.

(From Dec. 14, 2014)

Bill O’Reilly was (basically) telling people to find information on their own, and not just take his word.

I’m in a bus(?), at night, and seeing crimes taking place every few buildings along a street in L. A. I see a guy holding his hands up, a cop pointing a gun at him.

A little more down the street, I see a fence locked up with a sign that was something to do with something else.

The Sun newspaper (San Bernardino, Ca)

There was a poem in a rectangular box, going top to bottom on the left side of the page, for Ralph Fiennes. Someone said it was written by his sister, Jewel (singer).

Feel the Empty Space

(Night before I asked why I was called “The Mother”)

A guy was cozying up with me, talking with me. I realized that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, but didn’t worry too much about it since he didn’t seem to notice / be affected by it.

Someone, Ali ?, mentioned that I hadn’t brushed my teeth, so I told him that I had been chewing (minty) gum.

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was looking behind it, where there was some of my gums (normal, supposed to be there), to figure out why it would come off / out. I saw a tiny white spot at the top left corner, and thought that might be the reason.

I attempted to put it back, like a nail (not pushing it up in the gums), but it wouldn’t stay. I then let it go, and figured that Ali will have to live with me like this.

I put my lip down, and it felt weird to feel the empty space.

A young teenage girl, with shoulder (blade) length brown hair, had a boyfriend, came from a wealthy family, and was enjoying life.

One day she found out that she had a certain type of skin cancer. A couple of days later, she was looking at her face in the mirror, with boyfriend behind her, and mentioned that she saw a sign of it showing up on her face.

She lived with a lot of ladies, relatives?, and had a lot of dogs (not seen, but knew).

There was a festival in town, and she went to enjoy it while she could. Someone asked where her boyfriend was.

She “skated” down a cement curved slope. The scene continued to the left, showing several different groups of people showcasing their own entertainment / talents, like a parade, but they were stationary.

I saw a group of people singing the Star Spangled Banner song in a dunked up version / way. Next to them were ladies doing a dance routine with those things they throw up in the air.

This girl had become a bit weaker, but still happy. She had just sold a shirt, or clothes, and was holding a wad of cash in her hands, looking at it. She had some tears, but was smiling, because of what she had planned to do with it for her family. She was wearing black and white striped clothes, with varying widths.

(From Nov. 17, 2014)

A lady loved getting tore up / mangled by dogs, and would get paid for it. She didn’t have any ambulances around, but had two people who were there to help clean and bandage her wounds.

There were black baby kittens on a small slope of a hill, but they were balls, like when fish lay eggs. Someone was moving them, attempting to scoop them up, but not using the scoops nearby, so they were rolling down, about to drop to their deaths.

I was at a nice, well built, non denominational church, just to see what it was like. There was a man sitting a couple of chairs away from me on my right. He was “teaching”, using a tablet(?). One part, he was talking about politicians, showing faces. I saw Mitt Romney. This man said that Mormon’s don’t matter. He went on to something else, saying again about the Mormon’s. I stopped him, and asked if Mormon’s don’t matter because they are irrelevant to his discussion, or because he doesn’t like them. He started answering by not answering, as he backed his chair away.

A little blonde girl (2 / 3) was then sitting on my lap. Though there were no signs, people knew that she was abused. She was still happy though. She wore a dark dress, with tiny white spots?, and I was rubbing her legs. She wasn’t bothered by that. I then saw hair sticking out of her mouth, and went to take it out. As I went for it, I noticed that the end of her tongue was pierced, and this hair was tied through the hole. She put her tongue back inside, so I wasn’t able to get to it.

(From Nov. 16, 2014)

I was in a class, not for schooling, but like a community one, for fun. One day a light skin Arab man offered to give me, and another woman, a ride home. He dropped her off, then continued on. I was going to tell him that I live in Riverside when he brought out some masking tape (the brown / tan one). I knew what his intentions were, so I got out of there.

I was running in the city, like in New York with the alleys between the businesses, and couldn’t find a place to go. I finally said, out loud, “God, show me a way out”, or something like that. I then saw that I could go down a certain alley.

I went down, and through a door. It was a small rectangular room, like at church for nursing mothers, but there was only a long rectangular mirror on the left, with a counter below it. I debated getting under, but figured he would see me, so I went next to the door so that I would be behind it when he opened it.

After he opened it, and didn’t see me, I heard some ladies voices coming our way, and he closed the door without looking behind.