Feel the Empty Space

(Night before I asked why I was called “The Mother”)

A guy was cozying up with me, talking with me. I realized that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, but didn’t worry too much about it since he didn’t seem to notice / be affected by it.

Someone, Ali ?, mentioned that I hadn’t brushed my teeth, so I told him that I had been chewing (minty) gum.

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was looking behind it, where there was some of my gums (normal, supposed to be there), to figure out why it would come off / out. I saw a tiny white spot at the top left corner, and thought that might be the reason.

I attempted to put it back, like a nail (not pushing it up in the gums), but it wouldn’t stay. I then let it go, and figured that Ali will have to live with me like this.

I put my lip down, and it felt weird to feel the empty space.

A young teenage girl, with shoulder (blade) length brown hair, had a boyfriend, came from a wealthy family, and was enjoying life.

One day she found out that she had a certain type of skin cancer. A couple of days later, she was looking at her face in the mirror, with boyfriend behind her, and mentioned that she saw a sign of it showing up on her face.

She lived with a lot of ladies, relatives?, and had a lot of dogs (not seen, but knew).

There was a festival in town, and she went to enjoy it while she could. Someone asked where her boyfriend was.

She “skated” down a cement curved slope. The scene continued to the left, showing several different groups of people showcasing their own entertainment / talents, like a parade, but they were stationary.

I saw a group of people singing the Star Spangled Banner song in a dunked up version / way. Next to them were ladies doing a dance routine with those things they throw up in the air.

This girl had become a bit weaker, but still happy. She had just sold a shirt, or clothes, and was holding a wad of cash in her hands, looking at it. She had some tears, but was smiling, because of what she had planned to do with it for her family. She was wearing black and white striped clothes, with varying widths.

(From Nov. 17, 2014)

A lady loved getting tore up / mangled by dogs, and would get paid for it. She didn’t have any ambulances around, but had two people who were there to help clean and bandage her wounds.

There were black baby kittens on a small slope of a hill, but they were balls, like when fish lay eggs. Someone was moving them, attempting to scoop them up, but not using the scoops nearby, so they were rolling down, about to drop to their deaths.

I was at a nice, well built, non denominational church, just to see what it was like. There was a man sitting a couple of chairs away from me on my right. He was “teaching”, using a tablet(?). One part, he was talking about politicians, showing faces. I saw Mitt Romney. This man said that Mormon’s don’t matter. He went on to something else, saying again about the Mormon’s. I stopped him, and asked if Mormon’s don’t matter because they are irrelevant to his discussion, or because he doesn’t like them. He started answering by not answering, as he backed his chair away.

A little blonde girl (2 / 3) was then sitting on my lap. Though there were no signs, people knew that she was abused. She was still happy though. She wore a dark dress, with tiny white spots?, and I was rubbing her legs. She wasn’t bothered by that. I then saw hair sticking out of her mouth, and went to take it out. As I went for it, I noticed that the end of her tongue was pierced, and this hair was tied through the hole. She put her tongue back inside, so I wasn’t able to get to it.

(From Nov. 16, 2014)

I was in a class, not for schooling, but like a community one, for fun. One day a light skin Arab man offered to give me, and another woman, a ride home. He dropped her off, then continued on. I was going to tell him that I live in Riverside when he brought out some masking tape (the brown / tan one). I knew what his intentions were, so I got out of there.

I was running in the city, like in New York with the alleys between the businesses, and couldn’t find a place to go. I finally said, out loud, “God, show me a way out”, or something like that. I then saw that I could go down a certain alley.

I went down, and through a door. It was a small rectangular room, like at church for nursing mothers, but there was only a long rectangular mirror on the left, with a counter below it. I debated getting under, but figured he would see me, so I went next to the door so that I would be behind it when he opened it.

After he opened it, and didn’t see me, I heard some ladies voices coming our way, and he closed the door without looking behind.

What Is, Is

My top left tooth, next to my “fang”, came out. I was initially worried about someone (Ali?) seeing me this way, assuming this was the start of losing my teeth from getting older, but soon shrugged it off, thinking, what is, is.

(From Nov. 14, 2014 Ali’s dream)

He opened the door, to go out to do something. I told him to close it, because people steal. I kept after him to be more aware of security. He said he was only going to be a couple of minutes.

When he got back, most of his things were gone. I kept reminding him of what I had told him.

We walked for about a mile when we found his things in a corner bush. We took it all back home, then I told him to bring his guitar to Universal Studios with us.

We had been there for a while, half a day(?), when he wanted to go back home. I wanted to stay, and was telling him that I could drive in the dark.

(From Nov. 13, 2014)

A man was standing on a platform / plank, overseeing a big pond / small lake, that was a bit milky looking. He was pointing to it, and telling others, with him, that this is where the power comes from (for the city / town).

(From Nov. 12, 2014)

I went to Wal-Mart to look for something (don’t remember what), but they didn’t have it. There was a tall black man there with two young sons / boys. Wal-Mart was built so that each department had its own section, like Victoria’s Secret, and the sections were diagonal, going from left to right.

(From Nov. 11, 2014)

I had white, edible worms, mixed with mud / dirt, stuck to my right hand / palm, holding them for Briana. After a while, I couldn’t handle them on me anymore, so I scraped them off, telling her that I did

I was walking with a young Steve (9 / 10?). We crossed a street as a red luxury sports car was waiting to turn right (his). After we crossed, I realized that he was taking us back to our old home we lived in during the 80’s. I told him that mom didn’t live there anymore. He got upset as I turned him around, and I may even have had to pick him up so we could go in a different direction.

(From Nov. 10, 2014)

Watching the Simpsons with a child(?), and realizing that it’s a rerun of the last episode, so I mention it.

I’m about to cut my hair, raising the middle part above my head, but decided against it because it would have been to short for Ali. Seems I may have had a thick pink line going across my hair, about the area above my ears.

Someone is showing us the positions of everyone from the recently / previously ended war, using planes and such.

Ali asks if he should buy the “peacock” house (because the people who lived there had one). Thinking that I would, I told him that it was up to him.

(From Nov. 9, 2014)

I’m at a bus station. Amy, and Micalanne, are there also. Mic came separately. I think Amy and I came together. We’re going to our parents house, at least I think Mic is going also. I didn’t ask.

Everyone has to lay out their things first, upon arrival. I did, and after I pack it all back up, wish I hadn’t, as I keep looking over everything still out, making sure I got all my stuff back.

I don’t buy a ticket, deciding to wait for the bus to arrive. It does, and people get on, including Amy. Before going to buy the ticket, I ask a man (driver / worker) if there’s a seat left / any room. He says out loud, for everyone to hear, that it’s full (but uses a different word). Upon hearing this, I become worried that I don’t / won’t have money for a ticket, but then remembered that mom had given me $60.

I’m wondering when the next bus leaves, and so ask Mic when she’s going. She says her bus doesn’t get there until 2 a.m. I incredulously repeat the time.

(From Nov. 8, 2014)

I was at a store, and returned the ends of a loaf of bread, in the bag, for a refund. I was surprised that they gave me the full amount, and not just the amount for the ends.

Ali is outside, sitting on something, about waist-high. He is 6’4″, and built. Not too much, but enough to notice.

Briana was at a friend’s house for Christmas, with her daughters, but not husband. The friends had two trees in the same room, near each other, at an angle. This room was huge. As I was watching the girls have fun, I was thinking that at least they had room to move.

Briana was attempting to take pictures of the trees, with her daughters in the, but there was a ray / glare of sun shining through in front of the trees, so she couldn’t get a good picture.

There was a man on the phone, wanting to talk to the youngest daughter, people saying that it’s her dad, but she wouldn’t talk. The man on the phone is a tall man, with some extra weight. Her dad isn’t so tall, and is thin (last I knew).

Zombies

I was in a small pool (murky water?) with two other girls. A soak went below the surface. I wanted to get it before it did so, but wasn’t able to.

One of the girls undid the tie to my bathing suit /bikini (don’t know which it was), then brought the top down enough to show my breasts. I was worried that she would see my little bit of (blonde) chest hair. She didn’t say anything, and didn’t act as if something was out of the ordinary.

She told me to slap my breasts against the water. I told her that I would not.

I am somewhere where some 20-something’s were talking about bestiality. One guy mentioned an elephant. I was going to speak up against this behavior, but didn’t, possibly because I didn’t know them.

(From Nov. 3, 2014)

As I’m walking in front of the neighbor’s house (to our left), towards Ali’s house, I notice that the house is empty. I think to myself, “Ah, that’s why they haven’t been around.” As I’m back inside the house, I see about 4 ladies from church in the kitchen (side of the house), cleaning the last handful of stuff that’s left.

(From Nov. 2, 2014)

There were zombies in a city. People kept going about their lives / duties, but were on guard. The children still had to go to school. The residents were allowed to kill the zombies when coming across them.

I’m leading an exercise class at a gym. We have on our backs what looks like a weighted jet pack, but without the jets, and extra stuff. The cords /straps were black elastic (?). My pack was pink. I still had some weight, but it wasn’t obvious.

(From Nov. 1, 2014)

There was a rainstorm, then cleared up.

(From Oct. 31, 2014)

Ali came home from work, hot from the weather. It was 87(?) degrees outside. I knew that there was going to be another warm / hot day, but then would cool down.

(From Oct. 30, 2014)

There are round bundles of hay, out in a field. They are lined up, front to back, being varying sizes, large to small. About halfway, they curved to the left. They are frozen over.

I am standing a little ways away, and see a horse sliding down, head to the right, eyes closed, not moving. I was worried it would get hurt.

I was standing at the end as it reached the end. It finally fell to the ground, and was okay.

(From Oct. 29, 2014)

I’m walking in the middle of a quad(?) at a college. I’m carrying a lunch(?) box in my right hand. It is shaped so that the handle is at the left end. It is striped with the rasta colors. I’m thinking that Travis(?) will be impressed when he sees it.

The Mother

I am standing between benches, turned toward the back, in the chapel of the church, on the right side, speaking with someone. I am wearing an empire waist dress, blue / sea green(?) coloring, maybe some tiny flowers(?). My hair is dark brown / black, but looks natural. I have added some pounds (10-15/20).

A tall, big man walks in at the back. He sees me, and walks to the left toward a lady, to ask about me. Jovially / happily, she says, “Oh, the Mother”, and brings him to me, which by now I’m near the front on the left side, and introduces him to me. He reminds me of Kyle, intriguing me. I tell him, yes, I am a mother, thinking about my two children, thus the weight. Later on, though, I realize / tell myself that I don’t have any children.

This man has a Polish last name, with the weird spelling. He is funny, having previously been on SNL. His singing is beautiful, to almost being of an operatic quality, seeing him sitting where the choir sits, in the top row.

At one point, I am walking through a hallway, in the church, with him, and others, behind me. I’m having a bit of a difficult time walking, but not struggling, with a smile on my face when I look back.

There are some cards with names inside. Don’t know what for. I see mine, and the big guys together, mine having his last name. A man says it’s because he always sees us together.

I’m sitting outside, by a round table with an umbrella(?), watching two dark black bald men, who are about 20 yards away, get situated. I’m wondering what the big guy would say / do if he saw me looking, but also thinking it wouldn’t bother him too much.

I had put a sleeping bag outside, in the back, but forgot about it. Next thing I know, it’s raining, and Steve, as a young boy (11?), is in it. A church leader, who isn’t physically there, but can see him, asked how he is doing. Steve responded that he is fine, except for the fact that he can’t feel his fingers / hands, and toes / feet. He then covers himself. There is a small grave next to him, with something buried.

There is a line of Asian men, wearing black suits, holding red umbrellas, on the side of a mountain. I only see the faces of the first couple of them, as I see them from above. I don’t know where they came from, where they are going, or how many there are, as I assume that they go around the corner.

(From Oct. 26, 2014)

A tall, big man, who likes me, and wants to get involved, picked me up so that my back was against his left arm, and my legs over his right.

I’m worried about him being able to hold my weight, but then concluded that he could because of his stature.

(From Oct. 25, 2014)

I’m outside, taking a test. My teacher is Bishop Powers. He is enjoying the day, and is enjoying it so much, that he becomes overheated, and needs to lie down on a table. I mention to him, “I thought you had learned from last time”, or something to that effect.

While taking the test, we were able to freely converse with each other. I was one of the last two to finish. The test papers were more like a thin book stapled(?) together, and the pages were of varying shapes, sizes, and maybe colors. The questions themselves also weren’t thought out well. One of the last ones wanted me to put in order several animals, stacked upon each other, which included a hummingbird, turtle, and a cat. The longer I looked at this, more animals seemed to show up.

A guy appeared, as I was finishing, who sat as close to me as he could, on the right side, in an affectionate way. He looked a combination of Eddie Vedder, and a 7th grade t.a. We had taken a previous class together, and knew each other from that, but didn’t do anything outside of that class.

He told me he was from Provo, Utah, and he was what is known / called “Nu Essence”. He then took out, from his right pants pocket, what looked like a small jewelry box, and then got on the ground next to me, facing me. He said he was what was called “Level(?)”, which I might have heard of / about. I told him no, I hadn’t. He then started to explain. (I woke as he was doing so.)

As he was on the ground, I assumed that he was going to ask me to marry him. I was thinking I would tell him that we hardly know each other, but I was considering saying yes. I was also going to tell him that I would give him an answer the next day, as I needed to discuss this with Ali.

(From Oct. 24, 2014)

Ali was gone for several days, for something, and my dad was here with me. Shortly after going to bed, the alarm went off. I went to check it out, and by the time I got to it, it was turned off, and a guy from church in Moreno Valley was there. He came because some of the floor, in the kitchen(?), needed to be removed and replaced. I saw water underneath the house. He then left, but I told him the floor needed to be fixed, and he said it would be. Another guy, also from church in Moreno Valley, showed up to fix it.

The alarm was in a closet, and I saw writing, in black ink, written by a lady. Ali had smudged some of it, maybe so I couldn’t read it?

We had a large round, globe sized, chandelier, and two men were fixing the lights / lighting.

I was reading, in a newspaper(?), “The life you are to have will be”, or something along those lines.

Dad asked about death, if whether now, or at the end life, or both. I said both.

(From Oct. 23, 2014)

A female is parked in a white car, backed up. Not in a lot, but more like under an empty overpass. I don’t see her. She is frantic, on the phone to 911. She is telling the operator that a man is coming after her. The operator knows about this man.

The man, in a car, backs up to her car, speeding, crunching hers, then takes off.

I’m standing on the passenger side, by the back, a ways back. I see her falling out in two, but she is not a body, but more like two burnt circles. I think someone comes with something to cover her.

Black family, mostly women in their 50’s / 60’s, leave church early, as one of them is in a wheelchair, and they don’t want the other people to get in the way.

David Bowie is there, dressed warmly in a dark sweater. I ask him if Iman is ok with him being Mormon. He acknowledges yes.

We (including?) are at Oprah’s house, looking at her collectibles collection. She has some life-sized statues from different movies. She also has some things of Einstein.

I am riding in a rail train, with no top, with somebody else, inside this room. Looking down, I mention that the rail isn’t there, but then I see it.

I’m in Alan Alda’s bedroom, standing at the end, to the left (if on the bed). I think there might also be an orangey cat.

Alan is on the right side of the bed. He has on those square glasses with the big black frames. He is wearing striped pajamas, but I see that they are see through, and see what looks like white shorts underneath.

His wife is next to him, sitting up, with shorts on. She is skinny, so much so, that I can see a bone sticking out of her left leg, up by the hips. She has really short hair, and I wonder if she is gay. There are several different colored striped pajamas on the end of the bed between them.

Alan puts his arm over her stomach / chest area, bringing her down, wanting to get frisky with her. She mentions that I am there. I know they do other things, read, when I’m not there.

(Didn’t realize I had so much to write.)

Get Rid of Outsourcers

Get rid of outsourcers

Dr. J had become a doctor after basketball, but was now retired.

Things were going smooth with Judy, and I, then something happened, and we got into a verbal fight.

Coley had a pasta noodle going across his top teeth. I wondered why Amy didn’t tell him / say something.

I was sitting at the end of the table, waiting for dinner. Coley sitting to my left. Amy leaned over me, her chest in my face (I was leaning back to my left), giving Coley some food / drink.

In front of Ali, I walked naked to get something. I thought, oh well.

(From Oct. 21, 2014)

I was at my parents(?) house, dad sitting in chair to my left, watching the beginning of a soap opera. There was a lady on the phone, said a couple of sentences, then the camera panned to the left. A man had walked in to another man’s apartment. They were dressed up (being a soap opera) in expensive dress clothes. There were small spotlights at the edges of the door, on the ground, facing up.

There was a coffee table in front of me, I’m laying(?) on a couch, with a black digital watch, propped up, facing left. I saw the numbers 5 & 3, and thought it was 5:30. I then became a little anxious / nervous, thinking that I missed work without calling in (it was a new job), and that I hadn’t cleaned the house yet, and what would Ali think. Thinking it was that late, and not much I could do, I decided to wait, and see what happens. I then looked more closely at the watch, and saw that it was counting down the seconds, and the time was actually only around 1, or 2.

There were men outside, lined up in a row sideways, but with space between them. They had come in their trucks, to get paid for the farming they had done. The man I saw was about 10 – 15 pounds overweight, and tall. He was there with a younger boy (10 / 11?). They were facing front left, where was standing the man paying him, who also came in a truck, facing right.

The man getting paid had his hands on the other man’s arms, feeling them, because he had lost the majority of his sight during his working years, but could still see a little. His two fingers (pointer, and middle), on both hands, were shaped more like a sloth’s.

After the payment was made, the man paying, said to the worker, that he (worker) had been working there since (he said a name, but don’t remember) was a baby, talking about someone else.

The man getting paid, and the boy, were then in the truck, just sitting there, with the man on the left. I could then see that the man looked Hispanic. The boy then asked the man, presumably his grandfather, if he (the boy) could come pick up the man after work. The boy then yawned, and laid his head on the man’s shoulder. It wasn’t time for him to be at school yet.

The man was then at a restaurant, sitting at a round table with white tablecloth. He had a drink in his (right?) hand, waiting for his food, brought it up for cheers, looking at a sculpture of someone (Roman era type).

(Ali’s dream)

He was tickling me, while I was running circles around him.

(From Oct. 20, 2014)

Poland

(From Oct. 19, 2014)

Ivana Trump

(From Oct. 18, 2014)

I had a long sheet of hard plastic, which I was cutting into thin strips, but keeping them attached at the end. I then put it over some window blinds, to block out the majority of the sun coming through that fell onto a bed close next to it. The bed belongs to an older lady. I was only able to cover about 3/4 of the blinds, but it was enough.

The farmers are planning to walk away from their homes. I asked why, when it’s so close to the end of the month.

We, Ali and I, are renting from one of them. I thought to myself that we don’t have to leave now, even though they are, and will wait until the end of the month.

Forgot His Mission

The top part of my right big toe was chopped off, not knowing how. There was no blood. I wanted to get to the hospital to get it put back on. My family wasn’t worried / concerned, doing their own thing(s).

Somehow my lower right leg was in some black, thick, mushy stuff. I freaked out (in mind?), thinking it was tar, worrying how it was going to be taken off. I soon then realized that it was mud, and was coming off.

I worried how it would affect my toe, but nothing happened.

(From Oct. 16, 2014)

I’m at church, in Sunday school class with my dad, and I think Mark also. After a while, I go to another class where my mom is, and I think other family members.

My mom tells me that my dad was here, but left to bring back a test, but since he was in the other class, he had forgotten his mission / assignment. (He’s 77, and memory is fading.)

(From Oct. 15, 2014)

Gwen(?) had an operation to get rid of her female parts. She was no longer a fe/male, but just a regular person.

Ali is in bed, and told to look at the bedroom door, which is lit up. He goes over (was told to?), opens it, and at the end of the hallway to the right, a young girl (9 / 10) skips / jogs across from side to side, right to left, holding up a streamer / banner.

(From Oct. 14, 2014)

Travis

Laptop with a 25(?) inch screen, with a picture being drawn on a black background.

It’s Hard

The word “consciousness” came to mind, then Ali told me that it’s hard.

(From Oct. 12, 2014)

The world was going to explode at a certain time, but it didn’t. Don’t know if because it wasn’t going to, or it wasn’t going to at the exact time, on the dot, that was expected.

Greg, but not, looked like a Russian woman. He had gained about 30 pounds, which wasn’t noticeable from the back, and wearing a black dress with belt. He brought the belt up to his breasts.

He had been asked to say a closing prayer (before the explosion ?). He was standing, moving his arms with expression, and started to talk about, before the prayer, with a Russian accent, a weight loss program he was selling, and would need $300.

(From Oct. 11, 2014)

Woke up with the song, “Happy Ever After”, by Julia Fordham.

(From Oct. 10, 2014)

I’m at a (shoe?) store, and hip hop / r&b is playing. The majority of the customers are black. I go to where the music is coming from (front?), and change it. I turn the dial to see what else is playing, but as I turn it, the music stays the same.

As I change the music, I think to myself that I overrule them (the blacks).

Instead of getting upset with me, most of them go to the / a back room to listen to their music.

Still in the store, I have brought two Skechers catalogs that I had gotten in the mail, and am looking through one of them. A young black female is next to me, and she is telling someone else about a couple of the shoes, so I give her the extra one to look through.

(From Oct. 9, 2014)

I was, but wasn’t, in the movie “Alexander and the…. Very Bad Day”, but the circumstances were different. I’m sitting at a rectangular table, at the end(?), with other people, eating. I then see to my left, that several black women have sat down, on both sides, and the end. I tell them that someone else was sitting there.

(From Oct. 8, 2014 Ali’s dream)

He is jogging along a gravel road. Others are there as well. Small towns are along the way. There is a hill that he needs to jog around to come back.